Literally retarded.
Lol.
I know.
New conspiracy theory: sex is fake. It was made up by the cia in the 1970s pushed by agents like ron jeremy and hugh hefner. Think about it guys, have you ever actually HAD sex? Seen it? No. Babies come from eggs that are laid by women during their periods. Thats why theyre so private about it. And if anyone tells you sex is real theyre just being paid off by big sex and you should punch them in the face
Literally retarded.
Lol.
So i was really bored and horny and my wife (18F) wasn't home. so like every man i watched some good old porn on my (Leonovo windows 10) pc. But porn wasn't doing it. I tried using a block of cheese like another hot reddit post but no luck. I looked around the house but nothing was hot enough. Eventually i found myself in the basement (concrete) and saw lego mario. God. i felt my dick (2 inches) harden. I finally found the perfect thing to jack off to. I picked up the small toy and turned him on. "Lego mario time!" God it was so fricking sexy. Lego mario is like a digital anime boy. He's so frickin hot. I came (1 oz) just listening to his voice. Once i was finished cumming i put lego mario in my palm and kissed him. Then my (18F) wife walked in. sex. She saw me cheating on her with lego mario. We got divorced and now lego mario and i are happily married. I sex him every day. he's so much hotter than my ex (18f) wife.
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