They are working on new ways of tyranny over the American people. Anyone dying their hair and fucking themselves up like that is never a good person.

I help develop software for a customer, which involved image processing, so we worked in matlab

matlab is a language used for students to study with, not build enterprise applications in. Also, the NSA has customers?

We do higher level object oriented programming, java

"I use unnecessary abstractions because I like to masturbate with programming patterns."

So I am a pauses to think...computer scientist.

He had to pause to think of this answer lol. The pink headband he was wearing was restricting the bloodflow to his brain.

We program in assembler language

Thats a type of language, not a language itself.

I make a dashboard!

I have two cows. The government takes one, to pay for you to make a dashboard!.

Have a gold star buddy, for all your hard work.