Causal understanding of water displacement by a crow [03:18]

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[–] • 2 pts

These little flying niggers are very smart, and you can use this to your advantage. Some years ago I learned this first-hand.

In our old neighborhood, we had a massive flock of crows. Maybe a thousand of them would fly around all at once. And when they landed, they often made quite a racket.

One day, my infant Son was napping in the back of the house. Out front, a number of crows were up to something, and one was sitting on a wire ca-cawwing away like mad. Unfortunately, the noise awakened my Son and thus fucked up my afternoon. (I had been counting on his nap time allowing me to get some work done.)

The next day, just before nap time, I noticed a big bunch of crows flying around out in front of the house. My Mom was over at the house visiting, and She (being "old ranch" smart) said maybe I should "take care" of that situation. Left my Son in his high-chair for a moment (he had a big burrito and was happy as can be), loaded a bolt-action .22 with some subsonic rounds, slipped a large tube over the barrel, and leaned the rifle against the outside of the house in the back yard (nobody could see it).

Sure enough, just after my Son went down for his nap, the crows started their obnoxious nigger business. I went out, grabbed the rifle, braced myself against the side fence, and took aim at a particularly loud crow on the top of a telephone pole. It was maybe an easy 50-yard shot and I'd recently tuned the rifle to hit a quarter at 100 yards.

Squeezed the trigger, head a light 'pop', and blew that nigger clean off the pole.

Now here's where it gets interesting.

The other crows saw what happened: Their nigger comrade dropped to the ground, instantly as dead as a door nail. Every crow immediately took to the sky, announced that the shit had hit the fan, and then got the fuck out. Sure, as a flock they made a bit of noise, but it was up in the air and thus wasn't as sharp as when they're on or closer to the ground.

And then, the flock stayed away from my house for about six months. Six wonderful quiet months.

But then six months later, the flying niggers were back. This time I popped one off a wire. Again, the little flying niggers all yelled for a moment, and then got the fuck out - for another six months. And so it went. About every six months or so, some crow would drop dead (immediately preceded by a soft 'pop'), and then we'd have quiet time. Some neighbors even commented on it and when I told them what I was doing, thanked me profusely. (This was extremely odd since where I live is a veritable liberal bastion.)

And eventually, after a few years, the whole flock of little flying niggers just fucked completely off to somewhere else.

I call them little flying niggers, and maybe I shouldn't - because they're smart.

These little flying niggers are very smart, and you can use this to your advantage. Some years ago I learned this first-hand. In our old neighborhood, we had a massive flock of crows. Maybe a thousand of them would fly around all at once. And when they landed, they often made quite a racket. One day, my infant Son was napping in the back of the house. Out front, a number of crows were up to something, and one was sitting on a wire ca-cawwing away like mad. Unfortunately, the noise awakened my Son and thus fucked up my afternoon. (I had been counting on his nap time allowing me to get some work done.) The next day, just before nap time, I noticed a big bunch of crows flying around out in front of the house. My Mom was over at the house visiting, and She (being "old ranch" smart) said maybe I should "take care" of that situation. Left my Son in his high-chair for a moment (he had a big burrito and was happy as can be), loaded a bolt-action .22 with some subsonic rounds, slipped a large tube over the barrel, and leaned the rifle against the outside of the house in the back yard (nobody could see it). Sure enough, just after my Son went down for his nap, the crows started their obnoxious nigger business. I went out, grabbed the rifle, braced myself against the side fence, and took aim at a particularly loud crow on the top of a telephone pole. It was maybe an easy 50-yard shot and I'd recently tuned the rifle to hit a quarter at 100 yards. Squeezed the trigger, head a light 'pop', and blew that nigger clean off the pole. Now here's where it gets interesting. The other crows saw what happened: Their nigger comrade dropped to the ground, instantly as dead as a door nail. Every crow immediately took to the sky, announced that the shit had hit the fan, and then got the fuck out. Sure, as a flock they made a bit of noise, but it was up in the air and thus wasn't as sharp as when they're on or closer to the ground. And then, the flock stayed away from my house for about six months. Six wonderful quiet months. But then six months later, the flying niggers were back. This time I popped one off a wire. Again, the little flying niggers all yelled for a moment, and then got the fuck out - for another six months. And so it went. About every six months or so, some crow would drop dead (immediately preceded by a soft 'pop'), and then we'd have quiet time. Some neighbors even commented on it and when I told them what I was doing, thanked me profusely. (This was extremely odd since where I live is a veritable liberal bastion.) And eventually, after a few years, the whole flock of little flying niggers just fucked completely off to somewhere else. I call them little flying niggers, and maybe I shouldn't - because they're smart.

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[–] • 0 pt

Orcas are the fish equivalent to crows.. also black. Both crows and orcas are smarter than niggers. Actually both are among the most intelligent of their kind.

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