Upon exposure to @WaWhite13 and @Slumsta I have arrived at a startling conclusion. Fake Southerners are among us. I know this is a bold claim, but loyal readers will know this reporter always backs himself up with strong evidence. If you know anything about the American South (as opposed to the always boring South America), its people are fanatical, racist and ignorant. These unbearably white creatures are known to bleat "[yehaaw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apJqXYXq0dQ)," "[what in tarnation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iek5rPktamM)," and "[bless his heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLep-GmP83M)." From what I can gather due to extensive research on Homo Australis, they come in a variety of sub-species. There's [unintelligible](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdyGfiIirD8), [chatty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CxX8nvLalE), and [soldier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY1XpTzLn0A) among others. As we all know they are always [obviously](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-TZjWUW004) rural. What else can they be? While some of them appear able to live in human civilization, this is not so. They are known to be [hilariously temperamental](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg52RsJOPZI) and [dangerously athletic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgnJ8GpsBG8). If society is to exist without the taint of whiteness we must exterminate all of these foul things and expose those who dare to humanize them in the name of human rights and love itself.