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170

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[–] 1 pt

Wear a wig and do a lady voice just to be safe. Maybe shave your legs, but not too high.

[–] 1 pt

Good call. That was getting dangerous.

[–] 1 pt

But what if it's a straight woman fucking me in the ass w/ a strap on. I won't let you make me gay bro. I'm a do it yourselfer.

[–] 1 pt

Then ditch the wig. It's not that difficult.

[–] 1 pt

But when is the wig appropriate. Do you think Ruby would want me in the wig? I'm gonna go masturbate outside her house and stare at her windows at 3am. I might do a bit of light gardening while I'm there. She doesn't strike me as having a green thumb.

[–] 1 pt

I've shaved my balls and that ring of stalk hair to make my cock look longer before. I mean it looked good but I guess I watched too much porno and got self conscious. I didn't want my cock to have sideburns. Fucking 1970s

[–] 1 pt

I didn't want my cock to have sideburns

If your face had sideburns you could be twinsies. Don't tell me you don't feel the temptation.

[–] 1 pt

You ever wonder if god will forgive us for the fashions we have done?

[–] 1 pt

You know I couldn't get them right until I was 19. After two failed attempts I finally managed lamb chops for a whole year that met at the corners of my mouth. I was like some god damn ginger elvis presley.