Jokes, jokes and more jokes. Dad jokes OK too. | Poal: Say what you want.

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After years of loneliness, I decided to look for love on-line. I'm overjoyed to say I've found my ideal partner. She's beautiful, sexy, young, intelligent and made for me in every way...

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"Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker?" I said, as I pushed it through the bars of the cage...

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In the future when we finally give up keeping animals as slaves for food and/or other products...

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My ex girlfriend never made me feel wanted...

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I had to put my dog down today...

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Lost in translation

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Mohammed spent a lot of time up mountains, slaying goats and raping children. Jesus spent a lot of time around the docks and managed to feed the 5000 on fish.

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I heard on the radio that the police were looking for a racist attacker...

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I was in the store when I saw a pretty young mother spank her kid's bottom for throwing their cookies on the floor...

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[deleted]

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old joke

689

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Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?

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When I heard that Coca-Cola was made with cocaine...

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I was reading the first manned Titanic expedition in 14 years revealed lots of deterioration, but what was really amazing is they also discovered even after being underwater for over 100 years...

372

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A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and...

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Have you played the updated kids game "I Spy With My Little Eye..

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I keep randomly shouting out, "small towers on the corners of a castle!"

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760

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Every time I open a bottle of wine, I try and let it breathe, but it never does...

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Why did the beach blush?

132

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I am about as smooth as technetium is natural.

419

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A Fed is having a drink at a bar. His coworker walks in, sits next to him, and asks him "How was work today?"

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There was a pretty awkward silence at the dinner table, so I decided to talk about the crashing of the titanic…

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879

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A woman walks into an ice cream parlour and asks for a scoop of chocolate ice cream. "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream."

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265

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Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?

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86

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What do you call water that’s impossible to freeze?

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The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

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