Jokes, jokes and more jokes. Dad jokes OK too. | Poal: Say what you want.

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ᐊ page 57 ᐅ

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During my check-up I asked the doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?" He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now."

790

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What kind of people does Gordon Ramsey hate most?

1

224

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I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair...

1

656

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My parents treat me like a god...

1

1.2K

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A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris, but was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas...

1.2K

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The angry parents said I lied about my abilities and that they weren't going to pay me for the kids' party they booked me for…

732

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My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."

1

1.2K

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I cried when I heard my best friend had died from an overdose

1.0K

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An asylum seeker has been found dead in a cheese vat. Police are unsure of his nationality…

4

132

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A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman…

8

1.1K

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When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.

1

1.4K

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The pub is ten minutes from my house…

881

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Does a priest at a nuclear power plant…

1.4K

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says...

4

1.5K

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My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...

1

561

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TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...

1

273

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I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."

1

610

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My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought

241

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How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican? Eight.

608

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All the comic books I bought from the store are missing the last page

1

626

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This one my grandfather told me when I was 7

2

269

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You won't believe what happened last night!

1

1.1K

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Aunt Carol (I've heard it as Uncle Ted before)

742

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Is your refrigerator running?

1

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Kamala Harris was recently asked about her position on Trump declaring a national emergency to fund the border wall.

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