The middle aged couple were sitting in their lawn chairs one humid night at the trailer park when a flying saucer landed next to them. They got to talking with the aliens, and decided it was a good idea to have some wife-swapping to smooth interplanetary relations. The woman takes the male alien inside, and they start going at it. "How is it?" he asks. "It's OK", she replies, "But I wish it was a little thicker." He says "That's no problem, just tug on my right ear until it's as thick as you like!" She tries it, and is amazed. "Oh, wow! Can you make it longer, too?" "Sure", he replies, "just tug on my left ear until it's as long as you want!" She does so, and retreats into a trancelike state of bliss, moaning softly. Afterwards, she asks her husband "So how'd it go with the alien female?" He says "It was OK, I guess. But she kept trying to rip my ears off!"