I'm the only one in the house to cook food period
the womenfolk screeching
womenfolk
Why aren't they helping? Anyone can learn to cook - if they want/need to.
You sound like they have enslaved you and you can't afford to get out? Get a rent and a roommate to split costs, and maybe some peace of mind, unless you think your grandmother would be neglected.
Maybe a part time job so you spend less time in that environment? Maybe it's time to put grandma in a home or with a different relative? How much more can you endure? You are making their lives great while they seem to make yours miserable. How long have you been taking care of them? My family moved my grandmother around to live with a different family member three times, a couple of years each until she needed too much and had to go into a home.
For my mother, it's partially because my grandmother is unreasonable and expects "Restaurant quality" foods yet an extremely limited menu to only exactly what she likes, how she likes it. The other part is she's just lazy (Wants premade foods all the time, from a box or can or otherwise food she doesn't have to put any work into making).
For my grandmother, it's because she has no sense of taste, is a danger when she cooks (to both the kitchen/house, herself and us) and she just can't cook despite what she thinks. I've had to ban her from cooking for the most part because she'll try to cook everything on a flat iron because "That's all she can lift," she cooks almost always on max temp and leans over it to the point she's basically hovering over it and is likely to get splatters of hot grease/fat on her face or eyes. She cooks roasts from frozen and slathered in vegetable oil (Because she thinks it's good for you) and she keeps hounding me to DEEP FRY THINGS IN A PRESSURE COOKER! She has no sense anymore.
I can't afford to get out for various reasons. My grandmother burnt her bridges with everyone else, no one will take her, and we can't afford a care facility. If I left, her and my mother would kill each other because they've hated each other since before Grandpa died (And he died before I was born) and my mother never grew up from being a Daddy's girl. I also can't afford to leave because even studio apartments around here are upwards of 1.6K a month for rent. I also can't afford to get a job at the moment also because of my mother and grandmother. Mom would totally neglect Grandma if left alone with her, and grandma would die in a weak because she would neglect her diabetes and Mom wouldn't help because having to do anything makes mom have a tantrum like a toddler.
Doesn't help that my own medical conditions can rapidly change from "Okay-ish" to "Can barely walk and needs to be hospitalized" like I was last year around Halloween. We're all stuck with each other, and Dad's working himself into an early grave to no thanks from Mom. I can only try to help where I can and I hate myself every day for it.
God grant you the patience of Job.
What does your Dad think about the situation?
He hates it, but like I said he's working himself to death. Most days he comes home, eats and falls asleep because he's up at 6 in the morning to be at his job by 7 so he can get the shop up and running and then works hard as a lead mechanic until 5-6 at night. He can barely distract himself 2 nights a week with booze and pool tournaments. He's 55, he's put his body through the wringer and is damn near a chain smoker (Something Mom and Grandma don't help with, the amount of stress they cause everyone.) and he had to fight for years to get his pay raised to $22 an hour for a job he has over 30 years of experience in AND being the guy who trains all the newbies on top of everything else he does.
Doesn't help that his own mom passed at the end of August and we're dealing with all of that even now, and before she passed we were dealing with her multiple times a week for doctors appointments and grocery runs and so on. Those would be all day affairs, when really outside the Appointments it should only take maybe 2 hours, 2 and a half max.
Frankly, dad doesn't have the energy to give a shit, and I don't blame him.