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Long ago, in The Time Before, Dick’s Sporting Goods sold guns. Lots of guns. And then the son of the founder decided to get woke and stop selling guns at all but a handful of the chain’s stores. After being hailed as a progressive, forward-thinking responsible retailer, the company now admits that going woke and kicking guns to the curb cost it (and its shareholders) $250 million in revenue.

That’s probably an understatement. When the pandemic hit, gun stores saw lines of people waiting to buy firearms, ammo, and accessories. Meanwhile, over at No-Guns Dick’s, corporate was furloughing employees as fast as their printers could pump out the pink slips. They sent 40,000 employees home when sales fell off a cliff and gun retailers were doing land office business.

> Long ago, in The Time Before, Dick’s Sporting Goods sold guns. Lots of guns. And then the son of the founder decided to get woke and stop selling guns at all but a handful of the chain’s stores. After being hailed as a progressive, forward-thinking responsible retailer, the company now admits that going woke and kicking guns to the curb cost it (and its shareholders) $250 million in revenue. > That’s probably an understatement. When the pandemic hit, gun stores saw lines of people waiting to buy firearms, ammo, and accessories. Meanwhile, over at No-Guns Dick’s, corporate was furloughing employees as fast as their printers could pump out the pink slips. They sent 40,000 employees home when sales fell off a cliff and gun retailers were doing land office business.

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They're expensive as fuck, but got surprisingly cheap knives there, and last season they were the only ones stocked with fishing equipment

That’s because most people have spines and gave them the finger.

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I may be a cephalopod, but not spineless. One day us octopi will rule your kind