getting old has its recompense. stuff that would agitate me, doesn't even ruffle me anymore. those random feelings of where i wanted to bust out of my skin, ennui, etc...all gone. and i never was the extreme adrenaline type either. i could sit at home and enjoy the simple good things but dang, sometimes this almost destructive urge would surface. all that is gone.
every beautiful fragrance is that much more sweet. every lovely thing is that much more beautiful, as if bathed in diffused light. i have more patience. i learned to love myself and enjoy my own solitude. i'm not dead by a longshot, but my "alive" is more purposeful.
TV I think because of stimulation over and over overtaxes without reason the Adrenal glands. No TV, working out after work get up to 300lb bench press when started at 60lbs just over a year earlier.
Buy TV, gains stop still working out though, bored, don't go out, don't go see friends, and talk to people about stupid shit seen on idiot box.
TV is there to fuck your social life and health up and I know that now.
60 to 300 in a year is crazy good. You mind saying what your height and weight are?
I get what you mean. Life experience is like a blacksmith’s forge and anvil: it’ll burn you and hammer you into shape, leaving you completely changed (for better or worse).
I pray for all the young kids out there that aren’t being given the challenges they need to grow up and be shaped into respectable adults. So many need to learn shit the hard way...
"aren't being given the challenges" nail on head.
All I want to do anymore is camp, sail, fish, and relax with my family anymore.
If feels great when you're no longer busting your ass for the next big paycheck or chasing women.
I'm the opposite, too much heartache I guess.
i've had much heartache. lost loved ones. took care of them as they died, as they would share with me their fear and pain. i took it on, took it inside me. i've had a fortune and lost a fortune because of evil people. i even had a rough patch with my kid that i didn't think we would get through. lots of other troubled times i won't get into. i don't know how i rose above all that anger, and swallowed the bitter bile. well, yes i do. i prayed. i submitted and humbled myself and realized i could not go on in that way and prayed for help. and now i pray and give thanks.
try to get back that awe and magic you could feel as a kid. it's okay to be a kid at heart.
i wish you well. i wish you a blessing.
Thank you
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