Yesterday I was passing by Buckingham Palace and the Queen noticed me and invited me in for tea. She then proceeded to make creepy comments about how gorgeous I am and made sexual advances, which were Not reciprocated. I told her how inappropriate she was being and she apologised. She offered to give me the crown jewels as compensation, But I declined as I have no where to put them. Anyway, I decided to chop off my dick and tattoo "dickless" on my forehead so this will never happen again. True story.