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[–] [Sticky] 5 pts

The original url got yidded and now points to a porn website.

Here's the article with actual URL:

https://www.theonion.com/idf-soldier-recounts-harrowing-heroic-war-story-of-kil-1826048745

JERUSALEM—Describing the terrifying yet valiant experience to his fellow battalion members, Israel Defense Forces soldier Yossi Saadon recounted Tuesday his harrowing, heroic war story of killing an 8-month-old Palestinian child during a violent attack against protesters. “It was a heart-pounding experience—there was smoke and gunfire all around me, and I made a split-second decision to hurl that canister of tear gas at the encroaching infant cradled in her father’s arms,” said Saadon to the group of awed soldiers, describing the chills that went up and down his spine as he realized that all he had was his M16 assault rifle and some tear gas to defend himself against the unarmed Palestinian family standing only dozens of yards away. “I could see the whites of the baby’s eyes and hear her terrifying cries, and I knew it was either her or me. And this wasn’t some newborn infant, you know? This was a baby who could probably sit up independently. I was scared, but I acted quickly to throw that tear gas at her and her older sister. And who knows how many lives I saved when I shot the women trying to help her?” At press time, Saadon’s battalion commander informed him that he was submitting his name for the Medal of Valor, the IDF’s highest honor.

[–] 0 pt

This is the most satanic, lucifer shit i ever read.

It makes the likes of Ted Bundy look a scout boy.

[–] 3 pts (edited )

Well it's satire aimed to stir emotion, so....

[–] 3 pts

Hundreds of Palestinian children have actually died at the hands of the IDF after they were forcibly removed from their ancestral homes. That is the truth that makes this satire and not fiction.

[–] 1 pt

First day on the internet, Bill? What do you think about the jews?

[–] 1 pt

I like them extra roasted.

[–] [deleted] 9 pts

Does he get the prize?

[–] 8 pts

No one ever gets the prize, it's jews, there would always be a catch to it. Probably the only way that someone would get the prize would be if they were a jew too.

[–] [deleted] 4 pts

You want the prize but 1st answer this riddle!

They cry you're the problem when they commit the crimes.

They collect all the taxes and even drop dimes.

When times are tough they'll make them tougher but they'll be fine because they use your money as a buffer.

As soon as the damage is done they disappear without a trace and pit bother against brother and claim it was the opposite race.

[–] 7 pts (edited )

Does he get the prize?

Lol he should have collected anonymously and then revealed it after the fact.

Rinse and repeat to drain these violent "cancel" mob bolshevik fucks dry.

Inspiring mobs isn't journalism. Going after peoples lives, and families, and livelihoods, isn't journalism.

Anyone that does this against christians, europeans, and euro-americans, is the enemy.

[–] [deleted] 5 pts

The only reason they remain in control. They rely on their Chutzpah to intimidate the opposition to back down. Never back down when you are in the right.

[–] 3 pts

They are also ruthless and evil. They have no morals or honor, so they will do anything to get what they want. Poisoning people, which I consider the most cowardly thing one can ever do, is no problem for them. Also, creating honey traps with young children, like we saw with Epstein, not a worry for the synagogue of satan.

[–] [deleted] 2 pts

Didn't Hillary Clinton and her slaves buy The Onion? What happened?

Being anti-Israel is a pretty hard left position today. You have something in common with your enemy, just for different reasons.

[–] 0 pt

Yep, leading into the 2016 elections. Clinton's bought it and started running cringe Hillary propaganda

[–] 0 pt

You think kikes are perfect or something?

[–] 1 pt (edited )

I literally cannot even be in the same room with a jew, leftist or tranny. Otherwise my humanistic instincts might kick in and they're in clear and present danger.

[–] [deleted] 2 pts

Crying out in pain as they strike you.

[–] 1 pt

Whoa. The Onion is writing ballsy things? Last I looked, they were almost entirely beta satire.

[–] [deleted] 2 pts

I was going to say this has to be really old, but it's from May 2021 ... I'm pretty surprised too. The Onion is kinda shit now, especially compared to The Bee.

Onion is not what I would called _based_ at all.

[–] 1 pt

That would be the babylonbee.

[–] 2 pts

I get downvoted for this comment?

Show me any post from the babylonbee that is critical of Israel. Just one.

You won't find any.

[–] 1 pt

Should have asked what the prize was first.

[–] 1 pt

A weird looking tiny hat.

[–] 0 pt

...lined with a seal on the inside so you can turn it upside down and use it to hold your soup :)

[–] 1 pt

It's the onion, it's satire. FFS guys.