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[–] • 2 pts

My phone number is one (or maybe more) off from some pimp or a rich guy. Every couple of months I get a call from some bitch needing to be bailed out of jail or saying she needs money or she'll get beaten up.

[–] • 0 pt

you are lucky..... I get couple call everyday couple years ago. Some moron have almost identical number for his Hot-Line service. Sometime I had funny time, not once I answer to friends calls with my sexiest voice. But in general very annoying shit.

[–] • 1 pt

That sucks. My wife answered one once and she thought it was the funniest shit ever when some niggress whore is demanding me come down to the nigger part of town with $300 because she was beaten up and robbed and if she doesn't pay her pimp he'll beat her up all over again.

[–] • 0 pt

I typed out to related replies and deleted them because I know nobody cares about my slightly silly stories. So, instead, just send me a picture of your dick

[–] • 1 pt

Goddamnit, and I here I was, seeing "" and hoping that I got to read another slightly silly story.

[–] • 1 pt

Fake. Butt funny.

[–] • 1 pt

That's what he gets for trying to light his farts again.

[–] • 1 pt

Why do it naked though.

[–] • 1 pt

Wait, you don't?

[–] • 2 pts

Only if it's a full moon which of course implies the religious part of it. All other times the holy fart letting jeans shall be used.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I guess you didn't see the old Reddit video of the guy who wanted to light his farts and caught his jeans on fire, it was great viewing let me tell you, something you won't soon forgets a guy slapping his ass trying to kill the flames. I imagine it's worse older doing that, you know the flaming dingleberry forest catches on fire then the hedges in pubic park are ablaze and you left the fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt (edited )

Well what she didn't say is he's gay and he's trying to burn off the methane so his room doesn't smell like a sewer after his boyfriend reams him ass out.

I'm sure anal sex is not known for it's ambience since it's farts instead of queefs when shits inserted "it's logical to assume that inserting mass into a gas filled area will displace the gas to make room for the mass aka dick", so we can all know when little joe is being reamed like he's little Jenny.

[–] [deleted] • -1 pt

When you only think and write shit like that… well, you know the rest. You gay. Just admit it and move on.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I was just trying to write something in relation to yourself. I personally realize you can have anal with women also but your one track gay sex mind seems to have forgotten that little fact

[–] • 1 pt

Jake from State Farm? Sheeeit.

[+] [deleted] • 1 pt
[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

We've seen it, at Statefarm we have a term for this gaslighting.

[–] • 1 pt

Shit's on fire, yo!

[–] • 0 pt

Jake's older brother Chad named the family dog "his butthole".

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

So I have one burning question about all this?? :)