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I HATE SUPER MARIO SO MUCH
He's the worst video game character in the history of games. A plumber that jumps on mushrooms? What the fuck is wrong with the person who came up with that? They put absolutely zero thought into character creation but for some bizarre reason no one seems to care.
They're constantly releasing new Mario games and they're all the same fucking game over and over with nothing interesting happening. OH YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE PRINCESS AGAIN? SO ORIGINAL.
LUIGI IS LITERALLY the same character, just wearing different pants. But somehow people act like it's so special or cute?? ITS A GROWN ITALIAN MAN. How is this the character you people want more and more games of??
And the voices. Oh god, the voices. Everytime those little things speak my mind collapses into itself out of anger. What the fuck is wrong with you people that you can sit there listening to that dribble? If someone tells me they like super Mario I assume their either lying or just plain sick. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING interesting or cool about that stupid little big nosed bitch.
The bad guy is a turtle dragon. The enemies are fucking turtles. Think about that for a second, LITERALLY the LEAST threatening animal in existence. How can you see that and think that's interesting? You would have to be BRAIN DEAD, that's the only way.
A company has built an entire franchise, a legacy off the back of the ABOMINATION that is super Mario. Who are the people still buying this crap? It was stupid when it came out and it's not exactly aged well into the modern era.
THEY MADE MOVIES ABOUT THIS. MOVIES. WITH ACTORS. What in god's middle name possessed someone to do such a horrific thing? How could the writer and director seriously sit down and come up with a script for that without blowing their fucking brains out over the typewriter? It's so much of a MIND FUCK that it makes me feel like I've gone to sleep and woken up in a different timeline where the human race has given up creative thought. They literally just shit out garbage bags worth of mediocre titles about this THING and people gobble it up like hogs. OH HE DRIVES A CAR NOW? FANFUCKINGTASTIC. BRILLIANT. 10/10, instant classic. "But you can play as all the characters from Mario"
NO.
What sort of franchise does that? Imagine any other serious franchise making some shitty racing game that looks like baby's first LSD trip and having everyone shit the bed with praise??
ITS NEVER GOING TO STOP. If I ever have the misfortune of birthing a child into this miserable hellscape, his CHILDRENS CHILDREN will still know about Mario. His grandchildrens CHILDRENS will know about him. It just WON'T. EVER. STOP. Im done pretending that's okay. It's not. I would rather DIE than live in a world where people play these games and enjoy it.
FUCK SUPER MARIO, FUCK MARIO CART, FUCK BOWSER, FUCK LUIGI. Fuck them all.
Hypothetical scenario: Chinese miners decide to forcibly change the Bitcoin code to their liking. A fork if you will. And your tard response is that the rest of the people would follow the old chain? They still have enough miners to fuck the original chain by injecting bad blocks and other shenanigans,and also maintain the security of their new chain at the same time. Their majority stake would increase in fact, because a lot of other miners would choose to follow their fork and thus leave even less on the original. Ya, they are not doing that TODAY, because right now the Bitcoin miners are a giant vacuum cleaner sucking up Western Currency. When that changes, they will do whatever the fuck they want and nobody can stop it.
When I was 5 years old I got an injury that was not fatal yet it made my life miserable enough to make me wish I was dead. I was walking down the street and I bent over to pick up a Pokemon Card I saw on the ground. As I bent down, a bull headbutted my butt. I was immediately taken to the hospital and the doctors found out that my anal sphincter had been permanently closed and I would be unable to shit for the rest of my life. Every single day I need to have my shit taken out through a medical procedure. Everyone in the school made fun of me. For several years, there had not been a single day I didn't cry enough to make my eyes dry. I tried very hard to shit but to no avail. I flexed my butt and screamed so loud I almost became a super Saiyan but nothing happened. Eventually I accepted my fate as a lonely, bullied, shitless person. But after 10 long years you did something miraculous to me. Even as I am writing this, tears of joy are rolling down my cheek, because your post made me shit myself.
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