Backup (forgot to put it into context text): > Yes you should, for her sake. > Just so you’re aware, everybody farts. You fart, your mom farts, the hottest girl you know farts, hell even Dwayne Johnson farts, and he’s about as perfect as you can get. > The good news is, we’ve narrowed down your preferred qualities in a mate. Since you are looking for a relationship with a woman who won’t fart, I present to you your new girlfriend: > Her name is Stacey. You might want to buy her some clothes but that’s up to you. She’s ALWAYS happy, eats very little, and doesn’t have fingers. Also her boobs are fake but I wouldn’t let that bother you. Best part is, ZERO farts. > You might get some weird looks on dates but who the fuck cares! When someone gives you the side-eye, just put your arm around Stacey, look ‘em right in the eye and say: “At least my bed doesn’t stink.” > Mic drop.