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In the dream I was having (which I can't remember really) I was being pulled by a demon on my left arm, which was pulling me away from doing something. And then I started to come out of the dream fighting for my arm. Half in and out of sleep I had to turn my head to the left and say in a commanding voice to give me back my arm. I actually had a look at it while I was saying it. That was one of the most terrifying fucking things to look at. It had red eyes and it's entire form was a moving black flame cloud. I know AOU had told me that it's some dream state which I can't remember the name of. But that fucker had my arm and I thought it was going to tear it off my body. Also of note my mouth tastes like blood and has a gritty crunch to it. I can only imagine which one of my teeth I almost broke in the middle of this terror that I just experienced.

In the dream I was having (which I can't remember really) I was being pulled by a demon on my left arm, which was pulling me away from doing something. And then I started to come out of the dream fighting for my arm. Half in and out of sleep I had to turn my head to the left and say in a commanding voice to give me back my arm. I actually had a look at it while I was saying it. That was one of the most terrifying fucking things to look at. It had red eyes and it's entire form was a moving black flame cloud. I know AOU had told me that it's some dream state which I can't remember the name of. But that fucker had my arm and I thought it was going to tear it off my body. Also of note my mouth tastes like blood and has a gritty crunch to it. I can only imagine which one of my teeth I almost broke in the middle of this terror that I just experienced.

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[–] • 1 pt

Half in and half out of sleep is literally Hypnagogia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogia

You're literally having a waking dream, but that doesn't rule out a legitimate insight/vision. What is that you need to do that the demons are keeping you from? (I don't need the answer -- you do.)

[–] • 1 pt

I don't know actually I feel like I need to unlock something and I've been fighting it for a long time because I'm afraid to use plant medicine to do it. But I think that's the only way I can do it either that or serious deep amounts of meditation which I can do but it takes a lot out of me. But I have no visions because I'm just not sure how to find them yet.

[–] • 1 pt

I think that the answer isn't so complicated that it needs a vision quest. This is more likely something like, "I need to quit this terrible job" or "I need to stop abusing this substance" or "I need to get this business off the ground" and sometimes "I need to embrace Christ."

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

I retired 8 and 1/2 years ago. I did just get off some substances that I've been playing around with for about a year. It make me really sad knowing that I have an addictive personality and I think that it's to heal an empty childhood. I did have to pull the plug on a fledging relationship with a woman that turned out to be a weekly negative trickle with her. It really made me wonder how I'm always a sucker for people that mask negative energy. I think that's why I spend a good portion of my time on my own. I'm just tired of trying to navigate humans and their nuances. I mostly take a 'God just knows' approach now. I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Faith is so confusing and I just get so annoyed with the pageantry and rituals of our divine belief systems. Or it could be because of all the mold in my van that I didn't know I had. Which I'm in the process of mitigating now. Someone brought this up as a potential problem yesterday.