I have very early memories, from when I was crawling, maybe 1.5 yrs, my father and aunt remember vividly things that happened before their first birthdays. Kids are little sponges, anyone who would let a minimum wage person they don’t even know spend 9+ hours per day “raising” the kid is incredibly short sighted and the harm is irreversible.
It often costs more for child care than a 2nd income brings to a home. It is not always the case but it is often the case.
The best thing you can do to ensure the success of your kids is to take a active role in their lives and education while still setting proper but flexible boundaries where necessary. I work in a field that I self taught and I make "good" money compared to some people I know with masters degrees and 200k in debt. It is still very technical and I still keep learning. My family did not have as much engagement as some did but we read together growing up, learned basic skills like plumbing, vehicle maintenance, electrical skills...etc.
A lot of what I learned was "here is a thing, figure it out". Every now and then with a nudge if I got stuck for a while and needed some help. Both of my parents worked full time but at least were able to give me some of the resources I needed to learn on my own.
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