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How do I apply for this program? I figure if I get a retroactive stipend of $500/month, I'd have over $300,000 by now.

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Same. How much are they willing to pay to keep me from coming there and shooting? Like those Dept. of Agriculture programs where they pay farmers to not grow crops.

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Hell ya, since I have no violent tendencies whatsoever that’s apeasy money.

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Oh wait, what color do you have to be to get the gibs?

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I already investigated that, but you need to have many acres or arable land first. They want to make sure you could grow crop first.