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My mom was not the best mom in the world. Some could say not being raised by a parent would have been better than being raised by ... her. My dad was always a passive one, the enabler who would strap you down whilst mom beat us. My mom got so bad, my brother drinks every day trying to forget what happened, he just doesn't want to remember. My mom would threaten us with knives, dry fire guns in front of us for "fun", she kept insisting we were gay when we weren't because she hated she couldn't pick up brownie points for the new age globo homo, she kept seeing us as her meal ticket to her retirement, so she would constantly hammer us for not making enough money, not dressing right, insulting her by asking basic questions about her thought process. The question is why should I forgive her? Even if i wanted to, how would i begin to commit to such a feat?

My mom was not the best mom in the world. Some could say not being raised by a parent would have been better than being raised by ... her. My dad was always a passive one, the enabler who would strap you down whilst mom beat us. My mom got so bad, my brother drinks every day trying to forget what happened, he just doesn't want to remember. My mom would threaten us with knives, dry fire guns in front of us for "fun", she kept insisting we were gay when we weren't because she hated she couldn't pick up brownie points for the new age globo homo, she kept seeing us as her meal ticket to her retirement, so she would constantly hammer us for not making enough money, not dressing right, insulting her by asking basic questions about her thought process. The question is why should I forgive her? Even if i wanted to, how would i begin to commit to such a feat?

(post is archived)

[–] • 4 pts

Forgive yourself for trying for so long.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Wow, I did not see that perspective of it, nice. I don't let myself forgive myself or maybe didn't consider it a thing that needed to happen since I kept trying and it has kept my life less than awesome. I guess you just gave me some food for thought.

[–] • 1 pt

You'll never cure her of her chronic dissatisfaction. Let go, put yourself and the people worthy of you first.

[–] • 3 pts

You can forgive her because we live in a fallen world, and God forgives us. But just because you choose to forgive her doesn't mean you need to keep her in your life. God doesn't call us to keep toxic relationships like that.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

This is Poal, not the nigger faggot therapy forum.

[–] • 2 pts

You would be surprised. This place isn't only hateful. We know who are the culprits and our hate is directed towards them. Beside our enemies, we have a heart. Message for OP: you don't need to forgive. You need to move on. From what you said, Your mom was a piece of shit.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

you don't need to forgive

I wouldn't bother, except we're in ...

If you don't forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses. (Matthew 6:15)

Seems like you're in direct contradiction to the teachings of Jesus (and of some apostles)

[–] • 0 pt

Remember that forgiveness requires repentance first. Even God wont forgive unrepentant sinners - they'll be destroyed in a lake of fire.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Your path was brutal and you still found GOD and your goal now maybe is to get your brother to your level and ditch the booze. Ozzy calls it demon alcohol for a reason and it's a real reason I know myself.

So your a strong man now that has been tempered by his childhood ordeals. Maybe you'll never forgive her. I was reading something biblical online and realized you have to love and forgive the ones that hurt you. You don't have to like them but you should realize that past cannot be changed by your heart can and should so GOD can lead you better and you show the better part of yourself that wasn't allowed to be destroyed.

That love you allow to show for giving you life though she fucked up raising you spectacularly by the sound of it your an adult now and use your heart to know what is truly right since revenge like hate is a sin so just let that pain go and do the raising of your own the right way you know she should have realized was proper not narcissistic control.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Sounds familiar. It sounds too like your mom was/is a very broken person or possibly has some underlying psychosis; I suppose maybe your forgiveness could be based on that. A lot of us, sometimes I think most of us (us in general not just poalers) come from unhealthy families. But we survive.

Consider who you are and what you've become. Base your forgiveness on that. Maybe your mom grew up in her own special hell; a friend of mine grew up with a violent alcoholic father. He hated his father until the day his father died then eventually came to realize and learn about the hell his father grew up with.

It's something you have to find for yourself. You don't have to forgive her but that anger and resentment is such a huge burden to carry.

Talk to your priest or pastor; going to confession may help you gain insight into unraveling your mom's chaos. I mention confession to help you with your idea of forgiveness and how to achieve it.

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

She grew up in a violent, alcoholic family, was thrown away to her grandparents at a young age, and she left her parents at a very young age

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, it's hard to forgive having a horrible childhood but, sounds like your mom didn't know what a good childhood is/was- she didn't know how to be a parent because she didn't have a healthy role model herself.

[–] • 0 pt

Keep your heart full of compassion and forgiveness but know that it cannot be forced on anyone else. If and when your Mother comes to repentance then you should forgive her and she will be able to accept your forgiveness. May God heal you according to your faith Anon.

[–] • 0 pt

Forgiveness requires repentance. Repentance requires her to acknowledge that what she did was evil, that she was 100% culpable for it, for her to change her behavior to not repeat it, and for her to make restitution for her actions.

Unless she has repented, it would be unjust for you to forgive her. If she has repented...well do share that story, because I'm having a hard time imagining restitution for deliberately giving all of her children PTSD.