I can honestly say that I have NEVER been that blitzed in my life. I've been "feelin' good" many times and maybe a little drunk a few times but never enough that I've thought a "2" looked like something "doable."

How do you fuck a fat chick.

you're fucking disgusting. you don't.

barf!

Beer goggles, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Alchohol does the same to women though, when she sobers up you're not her Chad anymore. Regret is not rape. Top tip, go out a little later, by the time you walk in the ladies already well oiled and the power dynamic is in your favour.

YOLO. She gotta fleshy fold for every day of the month!

There is a reason it we call it "Pop skull".

Last night I came in at 2 with a 10 But at 10 I woke up with a 2 I've got 20/20 vision when I ain't drinking But lord when I do I lose I ain't never gone to bed with an uglier woman But I sure woke up with a few Last night I came in at 2 with a 10 But at 10 I woke up with a 2

-Shotgun Willie Nelson