Welcome • User Guide
ToS • Privacy • Canary
Donate • Bugs • License

©2025 Poal.co

133

So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

(post is archived)

You are currently inside a comment thread.
Click here to see all the comments (52).
[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Man I'm really sorry to hear of your dad's passing. He must have been a big part of your life for the grief to hit you so hard, and if the family split up 20 years ago there was probably alot of things you still wanted to say to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HRsgtS46sw

This link should take you to a German philosopher who delves into the relationship your conscience has with your subconscious. I think It will be good for you to listen to this. At the very least its enlightening and promotes self healing, so even if you're not listening to it with the same enthusiasm of which you would normally study material, it should still be helpful to listen to.

[–] • 1 pt

> if the family split up 20 years ago there was probably alot of things you still wanted to say to him.

There's a ton I wish I could have said. First and foremost that I'm sorry. I did get to tell him that he didn't need to worry about me anymore a week before he died. I made so many terrible decisions in my 20s.