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[–] • 9 pts

Give it some boob. Solves most problems.

Failing that: Check/change nappy. Is it too hot/cold? Is it teething (our daughter is getting her top front teeth - nightmare) Is it going through a developmental leap? Could be frustrated at trying to learn a new skill like sitting/rolling/crawling. Hold/sway/bounce it? Does it like water - bath or shower it. Over/under tired? Attachment to you/mum? Try wear mum clothes or something that smells like her (haven't actually tried this)

[–] • 7 pts

Pick them up and walk with them.
Never forget to burp them. Add that to the list. Check their clothes for tags/chaffing/something like crumbs between clothes and skin. Babies are small. They chill easily. They wear one more layer than you. Unless it is 80+ degrees F. Let them sleep on your chest with you in a recliner. It's technically called kangaroo sleeping and it is used in NICU to regulate premie heart beats and keep them comforted/warm. Source: had and raised 3.

[–] • 3 pts

I am irrationally terrified of premies

[–] • 3 pts

Don't be. They give parents a lot of support/help with them.. Congrats on creating life. If you get that baby vaxxed you should be ashamed of yourself. Stand on religious exemptions.

[–] • 1 pt

I just had a friend who, due to pregnancy complications, had his son born at 26 weeks. The amount of support and care he got was nuts. The baby was just fine. Nice and healthy now. Its scary at first, but I think premature babies have a very high survivability rate these days.

[–] • 2 pts

add Burp / gas pains to that list

[–] • 0 pt

I think I blanked all that from my mind. Used to do the burping after Mrs did the night feeds so she could go back to sleep. So much time wandering around in the dark with my eyes closed to get those bastards out

[–] • 1 pt

Do it! The Mrs. Doubtfire thing

[–] • 5 pts

Pull the jew away from it.

[–] • 3 pts

"Hey you", "buddy", "little menace", "champ" etc

[–] • 1 pt

First you ask their preferred pronouns

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Return on right butt cheek, Destination on left butt cheek. Plenty of space so don't forget the postal code to ensure speedy delivery.

Be sure to pick a destination far away.

[–] • 1 pt

Smack works

You think it’s the same as getting smacked as an adult or teenager but you’re wrong. At that age they only understand smacks, coddling, getting yelled at or soothed. At their age a smack is just a form of communication.

It also forces them to think. They have to think what they’re doing wrong. Makes them smarter (or dumber if used too much or at the wrong times). Coddling them afterwards let’s them know it was some action not them or they’re abandoned.

[–] • 1 pt

Most North American tribes had to cross each other's territory on a regular basis with the changing of the seasons. Old men, women, children and infants moving as stealthily as possible. A crying baby would give the whole tribe away, so they cured their infants of crying within the first few weeks of life. I could tell you how, but I promised never to reveal their secret. Just remember, the stereotype of a stoic indian wasn't just created out of thin cloth. There's a reason they grew up like that.

[–] • 1 pt

. But the situation in the video does not begin to address the majority of causes. You respond according to why the child is crying.

[–] • 1 pt

Try to learn their language:

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