It's complicated. I had an extremely emotionally abusive mother who threw me under the bus many, many times. People believed her backstabbing lies about me, and I fought a losing battle against lies that I learned about too late to fix. We went over a decade without speaking. When she was almost 90, she wanted me to care for her, so she finally decided to face our issues. We had difficult moments. But the result was that she finally understood some of the anguish she put me through, and became my best buddy. Our last five years together were the best five years of my life. Now that she is gone, I thank God every single day that we had that resolution. My siblings and step-siblings don't speak to me anymore because she left only small token gifts to them, and gave EVERYTHING to me -- her house, car, life insurance, bank accounts, etc. That helps take the sting off my loneliness while I rebuild my life with new people.
I never even considered the possibility that it is good at the end. Maybe be it will be.
Naw, it will be shit. But help her anyway.
Plan for a shit sandwich.
If there happens to be cake, it is sweeter.
Plus, let's not pretend there aren't days you can half ass her care conditionally.
That depends though. Some emotionally abusive people end up having an epiphany on their arsehole ways and seek to become better as a result of it. Seems like your mother had that epiphany. There are many emotionally abusive people who don't have that insight and don't care if they fuck the lives of others because its all about them.
Agreed. It was all about my mother when she wanted me to take care of her. It was when she was afraid I might leave her on her own if she didn't allow me to discuss certain topics that she finally listened to my point of view.
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