(sorry this got so long but it's worth it, I promise) Not living in a town/city does not exclude you from God, in old times these monks and stuff would run out to the desert specifically to get away from civilization and grow closer to God. When I did that, suddenly my (now) wife popped into my life one day. I had spent 4+ years single and searching (not sleeping around) and then after I said "fuck this I'm focusing on my relationship with God" she just appeared shortly after, like a brick thrown through my window with a note attached. And with the snap of a finger my bad habits started falling off without any effort on my part. I even stopped smoking (been more than a year since I threw my last pack in the trash. However I do still take a few drags if I'm like, chilling with friends and having a good time or something). For me the problem wasn't the drinking, the drinking was just how I dealt with all of the other crap boiling under the surface that I didn't know (or didn't care) how to sort through. Drinking was just the pressure release valve, and it was a very small valve, so even though it would ease things somewhat things were still piling up faster than they were being released with the drinking. God is the one who sorted that out, I think he's the only one who can, just like you can't do brain surgery on yourself you can't fix your soul either, all you can do is sign off on the consent form. And it wasn't from me praying for hours on end like a monastic, my logic was "well if God is the creator and I want to be more like him, I should participate in the act of creation". So I started making art and music and all kinds of stuff, being happy and loving in general, and then it was like the dam broke open (and it didn't take very long either). That was my form of prayer (although the other forms matter too). That was how I spoke to God and how God spoke to me. Through my art, and seeing his art, and appreciating it and feeling his creative energies flow through me. I can't say if the same is true for your problems and your situation. All I can say is what worked for me and why. I'm happily married and we have a one year old, I do still drink beer a couple times a week, but it isn't something that I rely on and I don't feel some overwhelming urge to go get some. That all disappeared instantly once the underlying issues were sorted. [This song came out a week before my son was born](https://youtu.be/0cKV8_MKsMw), it felt like a message. Every word is so relevant to my walk with God. That's real love, and the love you and God are supposed to share could be something completely different. But this is how God and I have our conversations, that's the language he speaks to me. I'd say, you just need to have that conversation too, in whatever unique language it is that you two speak. A monk once said that God is like a tree we are all circled around, and while we all see that tree from different perspectives, it's still the same tree. We all have a unique walk and a unique language with Him that nobody else can truly understand, only you can know what that is.