My aunt died of cancer 2 years or so ago, she loved me a lot. A couple of years before that, her brother killed himself, my father And she sent messages to me, postcards. I never took the time to reply, always had something else to do, not so important stuffs, but I finally did after many months, just a sms telling her that I didn't take the time to write back and that I will... And then she died My father didn't see me for maybe 10, 12 years... I always told him, not this year because this or that, and years went by, in the meantime he suffered a stroke, he was on his own, and an evening he called me, to tell my that my mom was a whore, and that he planned on killing himself, he was certainly drunk a bit, he was always like that when drinking. And I had my problems too, and I told him to not call me to tell me such shits, and that if he really wanted to kill himself then "do it faggot or shut up" A week later I learned he killed himself I guess my actions, make me a shitty person, overall, especially toward my poor aunt, his sister Now the funny thing, is that, there's a part of me, that kind of prides itself on not giving a fuck about it, it's over, it's done, it's behind, it's like that I guess that makes me an even shittier person... But that's also what renders me somehow immune to suffering when it comes to the overall story I'm not happy about it, it's just somehow, a bunch of non events now ... Talking about shitty family members...