I take air baths, running through the piney-wood forest barefoot in the early morning hours while the mists that lie close to the ground wash me with their tiny droplets of lunar dew. As I flash past, all the forest creatures poke their heads out of their dens to marvel at the mighty thing that is man. Refreshed by the glories of Nature, I return to my abode for an invigorating self-lashing with willow wands, which gives my skin a rosy glow of health, before beginning my daily work of removing the mantle of ignorance from the brows of my fellow human beings.

Bath towels? You fucking pussy. I dry myself with the furs of animals I wrestled to death.

One maybe two.

The guy talking about dead skin cells and whatnot clearly doesn't wash himself well. While a shower doesn't rid all, there shouldn't be enough left over to make a towel gross. Plus oils and bacteria are good. The goal should not be to rid yourself of them completely. Taking care to put the towel somewhere where it can dry properly helps it from getting gross.

One use per towel. Hand towels on days I only do my hair.

implying I bathe