Rollo Tomassi has written multiple books but the first Rational Male is a good book for any man to absorb. Beyond that he's got tons of other material you need to be familiar with. There's also other people that discuss women in the same practical and direct ways. Most will deal with dating but it's really one and the same with your situation.
Another good person to get familiar with is Patrice O'Neal.
To answer your question directly though. She's shit testing you when she insults you because she sees you as less than a man. She probably already has a couple of replacement guys she's eyeballing which further infuriates her that your such a pussy she has to be attracted to other men. More likely than not she's already cheated on you too or is cheating on you based on her rage toward you. Women almost always direct the blame for the guilt of cheating on their SO. When you ask her to please stop, it's a pussy beta move which further throws gas on the fire.
Normally my advice would be cut and dry here but you're married and I believe very much in trying to preserve a marriage when possible... Much more if there are kids involved.
How long have you been married and dating prior to marriage? Do you have kids? How old are both of you? What has your and her appearance done in the last couple of years? Weight gain?...
Anyone who shit tests isn't someone worth being with.
All women have the same firmware, not every single women will do it like this but they all need to test the fitness of the man they are making babies with.
No. He's free to do what he wants, and I'm free to either accept it or not. Anything that threatens the safety of our family is stuff that I won't be accepting. Ditto vice versa, but priority number one for my husband and I is that the family comes above all else. The reality is - neither of us would be stupid enough to do that shit. Headgame fuckery is the realm of whores and degenerates and I am neither. Why would I need to "test the fitness of the man I'm making babies with" - I'm the one who he's chosen, and he's the one I've chosen.
All women shit test. Some just gaslight you about doing it.
I don't. Headgames and manipulative fuckwittery is foul.
Upvotes for rollo and Richard Cooper. Also great call on Patrice. That nigger sure could read people.
Agreed on the not cutting and running part. Figuring out the dynamics of the relationship takes time. What Rollo and Richard talk about is a kind of hard and fast set of rules, but, in real life you really need to fully understand tally up the total cost of ending a marriage. On top of that, while it is easy to organize the playing field exactly as you described, there are many potential sublteties that really need to be considered and resolved by op to make sure that bad judgements based on simplified suggestions are not taken too far.
Also just remembered "Kevin Samuels" is also legend on YT.
I tell people that nothing is written in stone and it comes down to what you're willing to contend with and what you're capable of managing long term. Patrice loved to talk about how all guys and their SO should swing somewhat regularly. I don't much care for that, because smashing some other dude's chick while watching my girl get it from some other guy just doesn't do for me what it did for him. (I feel sexual degeneracy, is something the community still does not address directly, but that's beside the point. I'm a firm believer that good advice stands on its own regardless of which mouth utters it.) If you listen carefully when he talks about this is fairly clear his real intention was to say that you need to remove unhealthy attachment AND ONE WAY to accomplish this is to swing/swap... There are other ways to get to that point and I cringe at this topic because I'm worried too many men haven't picked up on the distinction and other methods and blindly decide to swing/swap and have a bad experience... as is normal.
You need to get a VERY wide range of views from as many guys as you can and then draw your own conclusions. I would not avoid Patrice because of his penchant for degeneracy, but I also would not take his words as blind gospel and I apply this to all my "role models" in this sphere.
I'm still very much learning every day, my SO keeps me on my toes. Reading and learning all that I have I now know with confidence that he is normal to a degree. Having these insights helps me notice when her bitching increases suddenly. Usually, she needs a dicking, sometimes that doesn't do it, then I have to point out hot younger women in public in a funny way, reassert my interest in her and mention how in the long run I prefer women in dresses. My girl is a freak in the sheets but I give her a reason to clean up and put on a nice summer dress with heels. Then we laugh at the basic bitches in yoga pants and UGGs. If things don't even out with her in a few days I've on a couple of occasions now resorted to telling her flat out that she can leave if she needs to figure shit out. When Patrice said that you need to give women options, he was so spot on that it still fucking blows my mind when I have to resort to it.
>Patrice loved to talk about how all guys and their SO should swing somewhat regularly. I don't much care for that, because smashing some other dude's chick while watching my girl get it from some other guy just doesn't do for me what it did for him.
That is because he is a nigger. Niggers are a completely different species of human with a completely different reproductive strategies. White kids are raised by families, black kids are raised by villages. That is because a key reproductive strategy for niggers is rape. In a black village a black kid can never be sure of who his father is, while a white kid in a white family can be fairly certain of it.
I like your description of your relationship. It sounds like both of you want what is best for each other and that alone is the only barometer of relationship health that matters. Everything else is just supporting skillsets.
Patrice loved to talk about how all guys and their SO should swing somewhat regularly.
That's vile. Why would you want to destroy your sacred bond with your partner by fucking around with others? That fucks your pair bonding ability. I belong to my husband and he belongs to me, and there will never be any of this jewish nonsense.
to telling her flat out that she can leave if she needs to figure shit out.
Pro tip there.
What is a good non-swinging way to become less attached? I think over attachment is why I can't deal with her tantrums. She was my first GF after running away from an abusive childhood.
Rian Stone works with Rollo and Rich but is specialized more in helping married guys out. I like him because he distills the material in a way that is most actionable for guys to understand. I like Rollo but I think it will leave this guy in the anger phase longer than he needs to be.
I would agree, he's not trying to pickup anymore and certainly can't go out and practice picking up women.
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