Don't let each other get fat
Don't let each other get fat
It would be so easy to rattle off a bunch of criteria, i.e., you are quick to forgive, you honor birthdays and anniversaries, or you don't lie to each other, but all those things are a given in a mature marriage.
What makes a long lasting relationship great is serving each other each and every day, you know, the little things that can make life easier. Making coffee or breakfast, or packing a lunch. Preparing dinner together Repairing a car, keeping it filled with gas. Keeping your home and car clean Saying thank you, please, or I appreciate you. Sending a quick text to say I love you or you look beautiful today.
Most don't get to experience this type of deep relationship; however after 45 years you have built a foundation that is pretty solid. There is acceptance of who you are and are becoming. There is a deep love, and even deeper trust. My relationship is build on the life of Christ. To adopt those principles, I have found that I am a protector, creating a safe haven for my family. My wife is a carer, nurturing each person in a way that promotes healthy attitudes. We both provide and contribute to the relationship in a way that encourages each of our unique gifts; some financial, some service, some emotional, but always learning, always teaching. It is about "us", it is not about "me". Your investment is in each other.
The biggest trait to a successful marriage is always saying you are sorry when things get tough, even if it is not your fault. Big impact! Humility defuses anger and helps everyone heal quickly. When people are able to admit when they are wrong, they grow. Every human being will argue and disagree in a marriage, but what is important is what you do with that conflict. There is a choice, to build the foundation stronger or destroy it. Choose wisely.
A man should lead. That leadership makes everyone feel safe, loved and accepted. That leadership creates an environment in which each person has the opportunity to accomplish what they dream. That type of leadership inspires.
Remember, in the beginning, it does take alot of work, but it is worth it. But, over time the marriage becomes easier and easier to the point that it becomes natural. It becomes natural that you confide in the other. It becomes natural that you want to spend time with your spouse, talk about work, plans, dreams, issues of the heart, etc. There becomes this pleasant desire to do even more to make your wife, your home, your family a good one, without even realizing it. I understand why those people live longer. It is knowing you don't want to live without this person.
So, what makes a good marriage after 45?
Building a strong foundation, a good example: Christ - follow his teachings
Leadership: lead by example, creating a safe home environment
Humility: Always say your sorry and never take the relationship for granted
Love: Say it everyday, show it everyday
Service: What can you do to make her life easier and better today.
Awareness: That life in general can be stripped away in a moment's notice, cherish what you have built while you have it.
Charity: Help others less fortunate than you.
It would be so easy to rattle off a bunch of criteria, i.e., you are quick to forgive, you honor birthdays and anniversaries, or you don't lie to each other, but all those things are a given in a mature marriage.
What makes a long lasting relationship great is serving each other each and every day, you know, the little things that can make life easier.
Making coffee or breakfast, or packing a lunch.
Preparing dinner together
Repairing a car, keeping it filled with gas.
Keeping your home and car clean
Saying thank you, please, or I appreciate you.
Sending a quick text to say I love you or you look beautiful today.
Most don't get to experience this type of deep relationship; however after 45 years you have built a foundation that is pretty solid. There is acceptance of who you are and are becoming. There is a deep love, and even deeper trust. My relationship is build on the life of Christ. To adopt those principles, I have found that I am a protector, creating a safe haven for my family. My wife is a carer, nurturing each person in a way that promotes healthy attitudes. We both provide and contribute to the relationship in a way that encourages each of our unique gifts; some financial, some service, some emotional, but always learning, always teaching. It is about "us", it is not about "me". Your investment is in each other.
The biggest trait to a successful marriage is always saying you are sorry when things get tough, even if it is not your fault. Big impact! Humility defuses anger and helps everyone heal quickly. When people are able to admit when they are wrong, they grow. Every human being will argue and disagree in a marriage, but what is important is what you do with that conflict. There is a choice, to build the foundation stronger or destroy it. Choose wisely.
A man should lead. That leadership makes everyone feel safe, loved and accepted. That leadership creates an environment in which each person has the opportunity to accomplish what they dream. That type of leadership inspires.
Remember, in the beginning, it does take alot of work, but it is worth it. But, over time the marriage becomes easier and easier to the point that it becomes natural. It becomes natural that you confide in the other. It becomes natural that you want to spend time with your spouse, talk about work, plans, dreams, issues of the heart, etc. There becomes this pleasant desire to do even more to make your wife, your home, your family a good one, without even realizing it. I understand why those people live longer. It is knowing you don't want to live without this person.
So, what makes a good marriage after 45?
Building a strong foundation, a good example: Christ - follow his teachings
Leadership: lead by example, creating a safe home environment
Humility: Always say your sorry and never take the relationship for granted
Love: Say it everyday, show it everyday
Service: What can you do to make her life easier and better today.
Awareness: That life in general can be stripped away in a moment's notice, cherish what you have built while you have it.
Charity: Help others less fortunate than you.
Woman younger than the man. Traditional wife rules apply. Husband quizzed me before our first date on certain subjects. One question key, "Was your father in the home when you grew up and did you get along with him?"
Woman younger than the man. Traditional wife rules apply. Husband quizzed me before our first date on certain subjects. One question key, "Was your father in the home when you grew up and did you get along with him?"
Mutual love and respect, all flaws included. All the rest is window dressing.
Mutual love and respect, all flaws included.
All the rest is window dressing.
Respect more important than love.
Respect more important than love.
If you MUST choose, but it seems both must be thriving between two people for them to even have a chance. Seems you can’t have one without the other.
If you MUST choose, but it seems both must be thriving between two people for them to even have a chance. Seems you can’t have one without the other.
A mistress.
A mistress.
having married correctly in the first place I'd say. Wifey still best friend, more disturbed (fun disturbed) than any of my male friends were. Totally same page, knew each other very well before getting hitched.
And yes, don't get fat, that is a plus.
having married correctly in the first place I'd say. Wifey still best friend, more disturbed (fun disturbed) than any of my male friends were. Totally same page, knew each other very well before getting hitched.
And yes, don't get fat, that is a plus.
Avoiding each other as much as possible
Avoiding each other as much as possible
Your old same age wife has died at her 20th childbirth(the baby was okay don't worry) so unfortunately you have to remarry to a woman under 25.
Your old same age wife has died at her 20th childbirth(the baby was okay don't worry) so unfortunately you have to remarry to a woman under 25.
The man is the spiritual leader of the house. If he fails to keep God in the home and in the marriage the odds start stacking against them. Two based people are better than one. Be Caucasian as fuck. Keep your marriage problems between the both of you. His dude friends will give shit advice unless they have a traditional happy marriage. Her chick friends are even fucking worse unless the are HAPPILY in a traditional marriage. Communicate. Take turns being angry or depressed so you can take turns caring for each other. Have dinner together every day you possibly can. Work out together. Shoot guns together. Have sex. I'm sure I missed some but these are fundementals that last from day one to the year of never and the good old month of none. Keep the creator in your home #1
The man is the spiritual leader of the house. If he fails to keep God in the home and in the marriage the odds start stacking against them. Two based people are better than one. Be Caucasian as fuck. Keep your marriage problems between the both of you. His dude friends will give shit advice unless they have a traditional happy marriage. Her chick friends are even fucking worse unless the are HAPPILY in a traditional marriage. Communicate. Take turns being angry or depressed so you can take turns caring for each other. Have dinner together every day you possibly can. Work out together. Shoot guns together. Have sex. I'm sure I missed some but these are fundementals that last from day one to the year of never and the good old month of none. Keep the creator in your home #1
Self control for the man. It's mentioned by several NT authors, for good reason.
See how the prospective woman receives Lori's teaching at .
Self control for the man. It's mentioned by several NT authors, for good reason.
See how the prospective woman receives Lori's teaching at [The Transformed Wife](https://thetransformedwife.com/).
Husband leads, wife follows.
Both take care of themselves physically and have similar standards for each other. If one is a little pudgy it's okay for the other to be but both should try to keep healthy. It's tougher the older you get....
Mutual respect and love are crucial.
Have sex regularly. It's a gift from God and part of His plan for marriage. It helps maintain the bonds of marriage by satisfying the mutual need for sexual intimacy. As you get older intimacy will be more important than sex but sex definitely supports intimacy.
Make time for each other. Spend time together.
Read the Bible and go to church together.
Pray together.
Try to eat at least one meal together every day. Put the phone away while you do this.
Give each other space and time for hobbies but don't overdo it. Hobbies have to be convenient enough they don't interfere with the other duties of a spouse and parent. They also can't put an undo burden upon one spouse.
Love making should be loving. If it requires a lot of accessories you're not making it about loving but about pursuing some screwed up fantasy in your head. This is idolatry. Stay away from it.
Read the Song of Solomon together.
Husband leads, wife follows.
Both take care of themselves physically and have similar standards for each other. If one is a little pudgy it's okay for the other to be but both should try to keep healthy. It's tougher the older you get....
Mutual respect and love are crucial.
Have sex regularly. It's a gift from God and part of His plan for marriage. It helps maintain the bonds of marriage by satisfying the mutual need for sexual intimacy. As you get older intimacy will be more important than sex but sex definitely supports intimacy.
Make time for each other. Spend time together.
Read the Bible and go to church together.
Pray together.
Try to eat at least one meal together every day. Put the phone away while you do this.
Give each other space and time for hobbies but don't overdo it. Hobbies have to be convenient enough they don't interfere with the other duties of a spouse and parent. They also can't put an undo burden upon one spouse.
Love making should be loving. If it requires a lot of accessories you're not making it about loving but about pursuing some screwed up fantasy in your head. This is idolatry. Stay away from it.
Read the Song of Solomon together.
(post is archived)