Yeah, real clinical depression is an entirely different beast from the tumblr tier "omg I'm so depressed". In my personal experience, to suffer from depression is to feel entirely empty, devoid of any and all emotions. You want to feel frustrated that you cannot feel anything, yet you cannot feel frustration either. It feels like a piece of your soul is missing, like you lost something that made you human. Every day is hell, and death seems like the only salvation. As the depression drags on, all hope of eventually simmers out. The loss of hope that it might one day get better is one of the core symptoms of depression. There's constant rumination about all the things you've done wrong in your life. True, severe depression is one of the worst diseases, and it is a spiritual ailment of the soul in a decaying and diseased society. In my case, the first emotion I felt when I started recovering was loneliness. I did not recognize it at first. It felt like something was eating away at me, and it hurt. I was missing something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I figured out this feeling was loneliness. When I was internalized with other depressed people, you could see it in their eyes. Glazed over. When they walked, it was like they were dragged forward by invisible chains, and their shoulders were weighted down by heavy weights, causing them to slump over. Some of them would just sit in one spot all day and stare ahead. I was the same.