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Title. Throw away away account, so I can't up/downvote anyone.

Terrified/Excited so many emotions. We're going to bring our first child into the world.

Problem is I fucking hate doctors. Don't trust them at all. I'd like some resources for looking into the best way to avoid unnecessary doctor fuckery.

For instance, if it ends up being a boy, they'll want to chop part of his dick off (ain't happenin') but what other bullshit do they try to put your offspring/ wife through?

I'm not against vaccines, but looked at the recommended course and it's like, how many fucking vaccines does an unborn child really need? They need vaccines in utero? I'm not buying it. Or the vitamin k shot to infants? So many questions, I'd really appreciate any advice y'all have to give.

Title. Throw away away account, so I can't up/downvote anyone. Terrified/Excited so many emotions. We're going to bring our first child into the world. Problem is I fucking hate doctors. Don't trust them at all. I'd like some resources for looking into the best way to avoid unnecessary doctor fuckery. For instance, if it ends up being a boy, they'll want to chop part of his dick off (ain't happenin') but what other bullshit do they try to put your offspring/ wife through? I'm not against vaccines, but looked at the recommended course and it's like, how many fucking vaccines does an unborn child really need? They need vaccines in utero? I'm not buying it. Or the vitamin k shot to infants? So many questions, I'd really appreciate any advice y'all have to give.

(post is archived)

[–] • 22 pts

Congratulations!

[–] • 4 pts

Thanks man. I appreciate it.

[–] • 18 pts

Get a midwife, avoid all shots, prioritize nutrition for her. Do this right damned now. No synthetic anything, go organic, supplements too. Many all natural ones and good advice out there.I have children both ways, the vaccinated ones are waaaaaay behind developmentally and gets sick more and various autism. The unvaccinated ones could end up being genius Olympic athletes who never ever get sick. Literally won the award in school ( when in public school) for best attendance, zero missed days. Doesn’t get any more clear.

[–] • 4 pts

Above is not unreasonable advice. Research doctors. Be prepared to drive. I would qualify that as far as synthetic and organic goes, some stuff is fine: Synthetic vit C is fine. Ascorbic acid is ascorbic acid; it doesn't matter how it was made. Synthetic fertilizer will render food "non-oganic", but is harmless. ... In principle, vaccines probably do have some utility, but the current level of vaccines for kids is absurd.

Vit K shots are probably beneficial. IDK

[–] • 3 pts

I have children both ways, the vaccinated ones are waaaaaay behind developmentally and gets sick more and various autism.

That is fucking scary.

[–] • 2 pts

Can confirm, born via midwife and I'm not a sickly runt like a lot of the people my age.

[–] • 2 pts

Yes to what he said. I have 5 children. Some were vaccinated before I knew what was up. The others I didn't and they have superior IQs and are never sick.

[–] [deleted] • -2 pt

You sound like those crazy anti-vaxxers on FB...just sayin'.

[–] • 11 pts

The delay on the cord cutting is only like 10mins, its only untill it finishes pumping the blood into baby. The cord will chang color to whitish and is noticeable. Vitamin k is good. We didnt do the eye drops. Also no vaccine for the first 1 year then space them out. Whooping cough vaccine would be a good one to get, i forget when they offer it. Get your dtap shot before the baby is born its also a tetanus shot so you can keep baby safe and get that out of the way for 10 years. Dont let them bully you or your wife. Do your research and enjoy your sleep now. Once you are a parent that shit goes away for a long time. Congratulations.

[–] • 9 pts

I don't trust the vitamin k. They mindlessly give it to everyone as if all kids are defective.

[–] [deleted] • 4 pts

Vitamin K is for the rare occurance of neonate hemorrhage. It's stats-based medicine, like the eye drops. There is a study that says giving every baby vitamin k prevents x number of hemorrhages a year and the eye drops prevent x number of cases of blindness from undiagnosed gonnorrhea.

[–] • 3 pts

*Stats based with no conditional probabilities applied. If your mom doesn't have std's, you're not going to get blinded by gonnorrhea (or get hep b for that matter). I assume vitamin k has similar conditional probablities that aren't applied and refuse it on the grounds the medical system is lazy, corrupt, and unwilling to consider politically incorrect facts in their calculations. If the preventative treatment is automatic, I'm out.

[–] • 1 pt

Vitamin K is not needed otherwise it would've been given to the baby by the mom, just like every single other vitamin/nutrient. Low vitamin K is actually a good thing in the case for high mitotic activity (cell growth), like the case of a baby.

It is just another stupid meme that they try to sell.

[–] • 2 pts

Vitamin K is like thousands of percent higher than their body's can process. I'd just say let a child be born they way God intended.

[–] • 11 pts

Mother here

I’ve had 2 hospital births and 2 home births and 1 miscarriage

The hospital births butchered me (2 different hospitals) Doctors don’t know diddly squat about birth even if it’s what they do for a living

Home birth all the way - get a midwife - you will more than likely discover she is the most knowledgeable person on the planet.

My first birth (Hospital) took 6 MONTHS to recover from because I tore so badly and my baby almost died and suffered from pneumonia at birth. Hospital does not equal safe. That’s what you get for being your doctors last appointment before they go on vacation.

I was very anti home birth at first because I wanted to “be responsible” and do the mainstream stuff. I am SO thankful I had a change of heart. My home births were incredible - safe, not rushed, gentle (and cheaper!)

My first 2 kids had vax at first - ear infections all the time. It was rough. Later kids no vax - super healthy

Have your wife drink red raspberry tea esp 3rd trimester - get the loose stuff not tea bags. Oat straw is good too I can give you the recipe if you want.

Also have her focus on Vitamin K2 during 3rd trimester then you can avoid the Vit K shot. (If you go to the hospital they will fight you on this and some parents have even had CPS called on them for avoiding the Vit K)

We don’t do the birth eye goop either - just squirt some breast milk on their eyes if it looks like they need it.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes the past 10 years but hopefully I can save you and your wife from making some them.

I lurk on here all the time but you drew me out to actually comment. Good luck

PS glad you’re not going to circ if you’re having a boy but BEWARE doctors are trained to retract foreskin make sure you tell them No! to that crap.

PPS watch “The Business of Being Born”

Also Congrats :)

[–] • 2 pts

> I tore so badly and my baby almost died and suffered from pneumonia at birth. Hospital does not equal safe.

I'm so sorry to hear that. What specifically might you have done, if anything, to avoid that? I've read that can be do to lying prone, which is great for doctors,but bad for mothers. If my wife still wants a hospital birth for the first one (I think she will) is there anything you wish you had told your doc, or done to make your stay better?

Congratulations on having that many children, we need more like you.

>Have your wife drink red raspberry tea esp 3rd trimester - get the loose stuff not tea bags. Oat straw is good too I can give you the recipe if you want.

For what purpose, please?

Did you delay vax on your other kids, or did they never get any?

>We don’t do the birth eye goop either

I'd read that it's given to avoid STD infections, which wouldn't apply to either of us.

>doctors are trained to retract foreskin make sure you tell them No! to that crap.

WTF? Why? Isn't it, like, fused to the body? Do you know of any bullshit they try to do to baby girls?

Thank you, I'll watch it, and thank you for your congratulations.

Thank you very much for your advice, and given your comment, the rest of us would benefit from you not lurking as much. :-)

[–] • 3 pts

> I'm so sorry to hear that. What specifically might you have done, if anything, to avoid that? I've read that can be do to lying prone, which is great for doctors,but bad for mothers. If my wife still wants a hospital birth for the first one (I think she will) is there anything you wish you had told your doc, or done to make your stay better?

I was induced because my doctor was going out of town - the stupidest decision of my life!!

For my first birth I was induced (5 days early) so pitocin led to epidural which led to her oxygen levels dropping which caused the doc to say push harder which led to tearing. (Honestly if the surgery room would’ve been open probably would’ve been a c section) this exact senario plays out over and over in hospitals.

Pitocin is terrible and causes your body to react to the drug rather than your body’s natural labor rhythms. Labor ebbs and flows like the ocean when left to its own devices pitocin causes it to work very mechanically and robotic. And women’s bodies don’t like being told what to do LOL

Pitocin can also mess with a woman’s oxytocin levels making it harder for her to bond to her baby. I’ll find the source if you want

And yes pushing in stirrups is only good for the doctor and makes the birthing canal longer than if say a woman is squatting while laboring.

> Congratulations on having that many children, we need more like you.

Thank you - you are very kind. It’s been the hardest challenge of my life but very rewarding.

Red Raspberry Leaf tones the uterus and contains lots of vitamins as minerals. It helps with lessening post partum hemorrhaging etc. lots of info online - some anecdotal some scientific. For me I could tell a difference for my 2 that I did drink red raspberry leaf tea (I do think you are supposed to wait until 2nd trimester tho - I don’t remember - my last pregnancy was a couple years ago)

I went from completely yes vaccines are good and necessary to completely no vaccines are not good. I saw the affects they had on my children and the ingredients are a big worry for me especially the fetal cells. But the monkey and cow parts don’t give me warm fuzzies either. Mother’s intuition told me something was wrong too. The current news cycle has only solidified my resolve but it is very difficult to find a doctor to go along with no vax.

> doctors are trained to retract foreskin make sure you tell them No! to that crap. WTF? Why? Isn't it, like, fused to the body?

Yes it is fused to the head of the penis My son’s doctor informed me they retract to make sure the urethra comes out at the tip of the head not somewhere else. I told him “well he’s peeing fine so it’s probably not an issue...”

Retraction can cause the need for circumcision because it can damage the way everything goes together or something - I don’t know. It’s stupid.

Baby girls - docs tend to look at all the visible parts - I haven’t seen any shenanigans

The war is definitely against the little boys I’m afraid.

> Thank you very much for your advice, and given your comment, the rest of us would benefit from you not lurking as much. :-)

Congratulations again Good Luck And thank you for your kind words

If you have more questions I’ll answer later - have to get dinner on

Best wishes to you and your wife

[–] • 1 pt

Oh! Also look into the crap they put in those drinks for the pregnancy diabetes test - really bad stuff

Some midwives will allow you to use like 10 jellybeans instead - if you can go that route to avoid the crap

If she can have her breastfeed! My kids have all breastfed past 2 years - all strong and smart

Homeschool!

Look into cosleeping (it’s not for everyone but without it I would get zero sleep) literally 0 minutes

[–] • 0 pt

Diabetes test should be refused. It's complete bullshit

[–] • 0 pt

Absolutely agree with you! I had a false positive - had to check my blood 4 times a day it was stupid, annoying and I never had an abnormal reading. Ate healthy never had a problem. Convinced the test is rigged or something but I’m sure the medical community would never do that........

[–] • 1 pt

This website has some good stuff: https://wellnessmama.com/

We use this oral Vit K supplement for our babies https://www.preciousarrows.com/Bio_K_Mulsion_p/44000.htm

You can find the dosages for it online - there are some European countries that use the oral supplementation rather than the shot

[–] • 0 pt

Yes. Had the CPS problem on vitamin k as well. The way around it is to claim religious exemption. That is the only legal way to say no easily and end the conversation quickly. By the way you want this fleshed out before the delivery.

[–] [deleted] • 7 pts

See if you can find a midwife.

[–] • 2 pts

It's our first kid, so wife want's a hospital birth in case something goes wrong. I did look into home birth with a midwife, she says maybe on number 2.

[–] • 6 pts

My wife wants a midwife at what's called a birth center. Its basically a house that a group of midwives own together and have tons of supplies and comfortable spaces to give birth in

[–] • 0 pt

We researched those but my wife said no, because it's her first time. Maybe the next few.

[–] • 2 pts

I guess the best thing to do is to remember this phrase when they start pushing shit on you -- "contact your malpractice carrier." Just the mention of having to go through that will likely change their tune.

[–] • 0 pt

Find midwives that are also nurses and live at or next to a hospital. What you're looking is a simultaneous recognition of two facts:

  1. Pregnancy is not a disease, but a completely natural process.

  2. Nature can fucking kill you.

We ended up actually, definitely, and incontrovertibly needing a C-section, but everything came out really well, and I don't think a birth plan can do any better than producing completely happy and healthy people at the end of a Plan B situation.

[–] • 0 pt

Thank you for your reply. Yeah, i've read that c-sections are massively over prescribed, but- that said, they can be a life-saving procedure if you need-need one.

[–] • 0 pt

We ended up actually, definitely, and incontrovertibly needing a C-section

What factors lead to this? I'm always curious at what point is a C-section absolutely necessary? These days it seems like they've turned it into a convenience and make it the rule rather than the exception.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

This was going to be my advise, no needles no drugs just as God intended and your child will be normal.

[–] • 1 pt

Advise is a verb, advice (noun) is the word to have used in your statement.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I was using it as a noun as in the knowledge not the process. as in my advice it so not do or to do.

[–] • 7 pts

Research delayed umbilical cord cut..

[+] [deleted] • 2 pts
[–] • 1 pt

I started to- looks like the best is to wait some period of time, but then there is disagreement as to if that period of time is, like, an hour, or a few days.

[–] • 1 pt

Didn’t mean to add confusion, seems important. things has changed quite a bit since I was in your place..

[–] • 1 pt

Not confusion, just a huge amount of info. Thankfully I have over half a year to learn everything i need to before the big day.

Thank you.

[+] [deleted] • 5 pts
[+] [deleted] • 4 pts
[–] • 3 pts

Don’t do anything to the boy. No vitamin K nothing.

We only did the eye ointment. He’s 7 weeks now super healthy and growing fast!

Breast fed kids do awesome. They will build a great immune system on their own.

Good luck!

[–] • 3 pts

Congratulations!

I think you can choose to space the vaccines. I had a biology teacher that preferred to space shots for her kids rather than have together. Also, they won't circumcise without parental consent. You could say you want your son to decide when he's older.

[–] • 1 pt

Thanks starjello; you're one of my fav people, and it's endearing to know that you're still awesome when you don't know who I am.

[–] • 0 pt

Thanks! That's incredibly sweet of you, dear!

[–] • 2 pts (edited )

Congrats! You’ll probably get a lot of people suggesting a midwife and home birth, but you can use a midwife at a hospital too. If things were more ideal for my 3rd (I’m doing VBAC and can’t find anyone who will work with me..) I would be using a midwife at the hospital. The last doctor I saw said they’d let me skip the baby’s vitamin k shot, circumcision, hep c shot, and eye cream (as long as I didn’t have an infection that would make eye antibiotic necessary it’d be fine). They were fine with delayed cord clamping too, you should look into that. I made a birth plan and printed it out, gave it to the doctor and have another copy to take to the hospital with me that specifically states what I’m not comfortable with and what I want them to do. She should avoid them rushing the baby too unless there’s a problem, doctors like to give Pitocin and similar drugs to speed up a birth but they can be dangerous for her and the baby. Sometimes it’s needed but use caution with that. Doctors like to medically intervene too much instead of allowing things to happen naturally. But it’s nice to have them around in case of emergency too. Here is a copy and pasted thing I made of advice on how to avoid BS from doctors. If you want I can give you a copy of my birth plan too. Knowing her rights going in is the best thing to keep her and the baby safe. This list will help with my specific situation where I was forced to have surgery but might help in other situations of malpractice:

I'm having another baby soon too and expect them to try to force surgery again because of the way they cut me last time, I'm not technically a good candidate for VBAC. My first c section was forced. I was naieve and trusted doctors when that happened to me. If I’d known my rights that could have been avoided. Here are some things I've learned that will help me avoid another forced surgery and other nonsense, advice for your wife: 1. Keep your phone charged and with you at all times, at your side at the hospital. Bring a charger. Record on your phone, there are voice recorder apps that run in the background. Call police if you have to. 2. Don't sign consent forms for surgery if you don't want it, even if they yell at you and make it seem like the only way out of the room is to sign them. Them saying you have no choice is a lie unless they have a court order, do NOT sign if you don’t want it. I tried to sign using my maiden name to trick them into letting me out of the room since I was supposed to use my real name but it wasn't enough for a lawyer to help me, and once I signed it no one else in the hospital cared I was yelling for them not to. If you refuse to sign they can get in trouble, they don't want to be sued. 3. Use legal terms with them. Yelling at someone, saying they need to sign consent forms and have no choice is called consent under duress*. Refusing medical treatment while being aware of the risks is called informed refusal. If you want to leave ask to sign an AMA form (against medical advice form) so the doctors won't be liable for letting you leave under their care, that way they won't panic about possibly getting sued. 4. Bring up the American College of Gynecology's view on forced medical treatment, which you can find here: https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2016/06/refusal-of-medically-recommended-treatment-during-pregnancy 5. Have someone with you at all times, don't let them leave your room. Have them bring food and drink, if they smoke ask them use a nicotine patch or nicotine gum. If you're not allowed to have someone in your room, or want extra people just in case then have a video chat going. Discuss your concerns and the legal terms with them so they can call for help if they need to. 6. I'm not 100% sure on this one but have heard you can ask for a hep lock/j loop IV instead of being attached to the IV stand. That way you can move around easier during labor/birth which is a good excuse to ask for it, but it'll also allow you to walk out of the hospital if you need to. I didn't walk out because I was stuck to an IV. An epidural would get you stuck too but I wouldn't recommend those anyway. When I had my first baby I had an epidural and it fell out when I started pushing and damaged the nerves in my back. I told some mom friends I have and a few of them said they had nerve damage from an epidural too, apparently that's pretty common. *definition of duress: threats, violence, constraints, or other action brought to bear on someone to do something against their will or better judgment

I hope I didn't freak you out. Having a baby is worth the risks, and now that you have this information you'll be able to protect yourself. If I'd known all this I could have avoided being forced into surgery. That hospital took advantage of me because I didn't know how to handle the situation. Doctors might try to pressure women and their families into certain things but you’re legally allowed to decline any form of medical treatment.

[–] • 1 pt

If you want I can give you a copy of my birth plan too. Knowing her rights going in is the best thing to keep her and the baby safe.

I would very much appreciate that, but if it's very specific, in order not to dox yourself, you might consider not giving it to me, or PMing me (this alt can't pm back because it's too new).

Keeping them safe from shitty doctors is my #1 priority.

You didn't freak me out that was fantastic, thank you so very much.

[–] • 1 pt

You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help. I don’t want anyone else having a bad experience like I did, no one deserves that.

[–] • 0 pt

Man i wish i could upvote. Thank you again.

[+] [deleted] • 2 pts
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