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110

I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

(post is archived)

[–] • 14 pts

Give money with the expectation of never getting it back. That's how I see it. Only give what you can afford to lose. The dude obviously isn't putting your loan at the top of the list. I'd say kiss that money goodbye but never give him money again.

[–] [deleted] • 6 pts

I told my wife I never expected too see the money again, but helping his child was worth it....so I never brought it up, but the motorcycle shit was a smack in the face

[–] • 7 pts

People who need to borrow money are usually people who are not good at managing money. People who, for example, buy a motorcycle instead of paying off their debts.

[–] • 4 pts

I do understand. Money can drive a wedge between family and friends. If I borrow money, I put that pay back at the top of the to-do list cuz I know how people can get, no matter who it is. I hate asking people for money but sometimes it's whatcha gotta do.

[–] • 0 pt

I give and don't expect return. I end up getting more returns from good friends than the money would ever account. I gave one buddy 40 dollars here and there and when he had he bought me lunch and drinks more than what I ever gave and changed the brakes on my car ( which itself would have payed me back more) to pay me back for his conscience even though I would have given it to him had he asked but he asked for a loan. Just treat people well, don't worry about what they give back just invest in your community and the good faith/habits that are healthy

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Yes it was. But hes probably thinking you dont care. You should let him know otherwise.

edit

Oh and get ready for "but its for my fammeliyuh" response..

[–] • 1 pt

was it a smack in the face or does it indicate you made him feel comfortable about the loan? It indicates he felt comfortable and good, you helped with that. You cannot blame anyone but yourself for making your friends feel comfortable.

[–] • 0 pt

I either give it with no expectation of getting it back or demand collateral that's worth several times the loan. Make sure you take possession of the collateral. Offer to buy something of theirs at 1/4 it's value, hold it for a year then sell it back to them at what you paid.

I've noticed with the 2nd option the conversation always just ends there almost as if they had no intention of paying me back.

[–] • 12 pts

Don’t say shit to him. You don’t loan people money, you give it. As long as you look at it like that, you and your friend are even.

[–] • 4 pts

listen here you commie faggot. you make a deal with somebody, especially a friend doing you a favor, you keep your end of it.

[–] • 1 pt

Clearly, his friend doesn’t give a shit about this deal. Learn your fucking lesson and don’t loan money to people faggot.

[–] • 2 pts

This is like a leftist saying "it's an unplanned donation".

A gift was not the arrangement they made, it was an interest free loan in a time of crisis.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

You'd have to be a leftist to loan money with the naivete to expect a repayment without legal repurcussions.

I owed my buddy at least 6000 at some point. I'm a highschool drop out who was making near minimum wage at the time. I paid him back in little over 2 months. He died a month or two later. Lots of people still owed him money... But not me.

Fuck people. Give them money just to watch them fuck off.

[–] • 0 pt

Its not about the money, its about respect.

[–] • 0 pt

But if the friend respected him, he wouldn’t have gone out and spent money like that where he could so easily shove it in his face. This is no friend. There is no respect. Say whatever you want. It won’t change anything. Damage done. Learn your lesson. Don’t loan money to people.

[–] • 0 pt

Word, though i dont think OP was dumb for lending him. Friend was dumb for disrespecting. But seems OP can afford the loss. Lets hope his friend can afford to lose a good friend.

[–] • 7 pts

'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'

White men are the most empathetic and helpful people on Earth, that is our Achilles heel.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

My good genetic make up has burnt me again....😒

[–] • 1 pt

No good deed goes unpunished

[–] • 1 pt

No good DNA goes unpunished.

[–] • 7 pts (edited )

Some people are not good with money as they fail to prioritise and tend to buy on impulse, they will always fail at life because being able to handle money is key to a stable future.

Somewhere in his tiny brain he will have rationalised that getting a bike now was a better deal than putting his friendship first. He was wrong, he is also probably a slow learner.

You aren't helping him by being accommodating, when he had that $10K you should have told him you needed that money back, not give his tiny brain a reason to defer it.

I lent my friend £20, he never bothered to pay me back. Later I never bothered to call him a friend. His loss was vastly more significant than mine, and I've saved myself any future grief at having to put up with his lack of values. Last I heard he was drinking a lot.

Men have one good name, some men recognise just how important it is that they can be trusted by others, and some don't. You sound like you have a good set of values.

Point out his mistake and then stop speaking to him. If he pays you back then good, he's learning, if he doesn't then that's also a good result for you.

[–] • 1 pt

People need to learn to say "no!" I've had two ex-girlfriends hit me up for money. I said "no" in both cases. I always say "no" when it's something I don't want to do. Organized charities get a big, fat "no" when they put their hand out to me. People I don't like ask me for a ride home in my car -- here comes the "no!" People try to borrow things from me -- "No!"

[–] • 1 pt

I believe White people should always try and help each other, because what we do best is social cooperation.

Sadly the nigger and the jew undermine a lot of our values and their selfishness bleeds through into our communities.

His friend acted like a nigger and now the relationship is the poorer for it.

Like if you borrow a lawn mower from your White neighbour, you give it back clean, sharp and full of fuel. Then next time he's still happy to lend you his mower, and he'll tell his friends that you are a good man.

Trust and selfless behaviour are core White values, we need to preserve and build upon these or we are lost.

[–] • 1 pt

you're a fucking retard if you think """trust""" and """selfless behavior""" belongs only to whites. what are you gonna do if you borrow a lawn mower from a nonwhite? return it broken cause fuck niggers?

[–] • 0 pt

The irony is that you get a lot more respect if you set firm boundaries with the magic word 'No.' People who fail to set firm boundaries are treated with resentment and disrespect by those who have come to expect favors from them as if they were some kind of natural right. It is a bit like the dynamics between parents and children - spoiled children are never satisfied!

[–] • 5 pts

Going through the same with my son. Borrowed him 4k for a divorce 4 years ago. I hate to even ask for it back but I finally did last week. He makes 100k + /yr. and I'm certain he received Biden $ for 3 kids. He said he can't pay me right now because he's buying a new house. He then had the balls to asked if I'd finish the basement in their new house after they move in. Lmao...

[–] • 3 pts

"Sure, let me add on 4k to the total once the work is done as well"

[–] • 3 pts

I would be a bit upset as well. I think you did the right thing in the beginning. Usually money lent to a friend is rather, a gift. This is kind of a slap in the face, and I assume by your dilemma, was not expected. If this is a friendship worth preserving, the question is, do you let the money go and therefore let the resentment go?

I tend to drop people like a bad habit. Because I’m a smart ass, I’d be inclined to blow him up on faceberg if it would be seen by everyone else.

Good luck mang.

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

Ask to ride the motorcycle and throw it off a bridge

[–] • 3 pts

Enjoy your new motorcycle

[–] • 0 pt

honestly if he doesn't bring it up at all he probably could borrow it whenever he wants and his friend would be happy to make him happy and share it and the joy it provides him.

[–] • 3 pts

Borrow the motorcycle.

[–] • 3 pts (edited )

Has it been a really stressful period in his life, where he's been working non stop then coming home to be a single parent?

I ask because sometimes people in these situations can feel so overwhelmed and like they're drowning in misery. They need to do something for themselves before they break.

I have a little one so I don't ride anymore, but I used to. When you're on the road it's just you and the bike and you're getting the best therapy you can find. There are no bills, parental responsibilities, bosses, family problems or stresses, any turmoil is temporarily suspended and it's just a road and engine with steady vibration that soothes the mind and soul.

Of course, you need to take into consideration if he's being irresponsible or if it's just this one thing. If it's just this one thing and he seems to not be struggling, be upset. But even in a good marriage people get stressed and need an outlet. This guy is doing it alone. Well, no not alone. He's probably being harassed on a regular basis by the ex, her family, and the kid is probably sad about mommy because they don't have the age to understand. It's just a lot of stress. When people are stressed heavily, it's like they have blinders on and they can't see outside of what directly affects them. They're not going to be thinking about how that choice impacts you.

$1200 is a lot of money. If I saw the guy is being a good parent and friend, I would consider his debt paid. Good friends help one another and he will eventually repay through money and/or help in the future. If he's not being a good parent and he's doing other things that are detrimental to himself, then it's time to say hey buddy, I really need that money ASAP, I've got this bill and it needs to be paid. There's another stimulus so if he already spent it, another is coming and he should be able to make do. Whether or not you get the money will determine if you continue to have anything to do with him. If he gets it to you ASAP, you know he's still reliable. If he doesn't, the price you paid to get a child into a better situation was well worth it.

Thanks for being a good human. There aren't many out there. Don't let money ruin a good relationship, but don't let the failure of him to pay you back be ignored if there are other signs of it not being a true friendship. A lot of people pay lip service to friendship and aren't actually there for you. But if he's been there for you in the past and was solid, don't hold it against him.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

you learned about his true character. do you still want to be friends with him?

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

I do....we are like brothers...just don't know how to process the disrespect

[–] • 3 pts

Sounds like that brothership is one-sided if you can't even bring this minor issue up.

Also, it sounds like the loan was your idea so don't be surprised when the person you gave it to is not exactly making a top priority of paying it back.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

If you want to be friends don't cut off his left ear and tell him he owes you the money or his right ear in 2 weeks.

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