was sleeping, and then, suddenly, I woke. I found that I could not move nor talk nor cry out for help. Paralyzed, except for my eyes, I was laying in my bed on my back, trapped in the prison of my own body. My girlfriend was next to me, but she still seemed to be asleep. I wished I could touch her, I wished I could scream at her to run, because the impending sense of doom was all I knew in that moment and I wanted her to be safe. It was then that I saw the glow coming through my curtains. Purple and gold and pure white, shimmering and blinking, rays swept the room like an otherworldly disco ball was hovering outside my window. A beam of light shot down, directly through my window, and for a moment, I was blinded. When my sight returned, there were three dark, malevolent beings standing at the foot of my bed, staring at me. Looking at me like they wanted to take something from me. Looking at me like I was their prey. The one in the center stepped towards me, and spoke in a strange alien dialect I did not recognize. Eyyo, check out this terrestrial crackah! Nigga be sleepin' his tighty whities, next to this fine ass white ladeh! Bet? Mus' be Trippin, Yo! I saw that their faces didn't look human. They were dark as ebony, with yellowish eyes and supernaturally thick lips that housed dangling Newport cigarettes from them. I didn't ask, but rather thought, where were these mysterious entities from? We be able to read your mind, whitey. We Hyper-Niggaz from Galaxy Dank, and we here to do some research on yo' Mayo ass. Real scientific 'n' shieeet. My boi Jeromiatus here even got an associate's degree in lab tech from the Community College of the Pleiades. Only took him five years, too. Terrified, I sat silent. We wuz the Kangz that used to run Ancient Egypt, gave all our proud Black Human brothers technology, only to have you'll honkies steal that shit. Speaking of which, Tryoniclon, grab his flat screen TV, that's technology the white devil stole from us. Take his bicycle while you at it. And check to see if there be a safe too, I'm sure this white devil got all kinna stolen treasure in there. I watched in fear as they used their hyper-tech to rip my mounted TV off the drywall, leaving a massive, jagged hole. Finally, as they left, they gave me one last warning, as they flew away in their saucer shaped starcraft. Now you don't be callin' no galactic cops on us, cuz snitches dont get nuffin' but stitches 'round this solar system. We borrowed this spaceship from some greys, they almost as white as you. It ain't stolen. Just then, outside the window, another spaceship appeared, this time flashing red and blue. Oh shit, out boi's! Later, earth crackah. And they vanished completely, leaving no trace of evidence, except an empty bottle of Grape Soda and the shells of some spit out sunflower seeds.