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I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

(post is archived)

[–] 8 pts

I really hope you are right. To put it into perspective, just as I was typing this, she walked into the room unprovoked and said “I feel him moving and it makes me feel so incredibly sorry that he has to be born and know someone as pathetic as you.” That’s some fucked up shit. I try not to let it get to me and pray that this all passes.

[–] 7 pts

Not trying to give advice here, but if I were on the receiving end of that knowing how shit tests can be and how women say crazy shit, I would simply not react. I would go dead-face and silent and show no emotion at all just to let her stew on it more. If she comes back with more and worse, then I would know for sure it's her own insecurities because I gave her no satisfaction in my reaction. I was shit tested a lot during our first pregnancy and it taught me a lot about how women need to put their own insecurities and failures onto other people. It's a modern affliction thanks to the destruction of trad roles and marital sanctity. I guaran-fucking-tee you she would not be acting like this if divorces were hard to come by these days and that she had to prove fault on your part.

[–] 4 pts

I don’t react. There’s not even a proper way to react or respond. I’m just waiting it out. What you are sayingmakes sense considering my non-reaction tends to continually escalate things.

[–] 8 pts

Find a way to record her behaving this way. Don't let anyone know. It might be useful to socially shame her and or use in court at a later date. Don't even reference you have such behavior documented encase she is just being a mood swing crazy third trimester. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Be strong.

[–] 2 pts

Then agree and amplify:

Her: “I feel him moving and it makes me feel so incredibly sorry that he has to be born and know someone as pathetic as you.”

You: "And this isn't even my final form!"

Her: "You are an embarrassment to everyone who knows me. You are pain ugly!"

You: "I can't believe I tricked you into making my child with this face of mine. I guess that's 1 - 0 for me."

Her: "Wait until my dad finds an appartment for me and I'll make sure you'll never see your son again."

You: "Yeah, that will probably make me very sad. Got to make a new child with somebody else then, just to replace my sorrow."

And whenever she's not in crazy mode, tell her that you love her and that you'll take care of her. But if she goes into crazy mode, just be an oak.

[–] 4 pts

God man, I couldn't imagine this... My wife carried our twin boys a little over a year ago and hormones were a thing. As someone mentioned before, she had moments of knowing it wasn't her usual emotions and often apologized.

I'm not going to pretend that it wouldn't hurt, I feel sorry for you. You're doing what a man should do, just make sure that she gets your time too, life is too short to work it all away.

It may be too late, but for now, just pray. I'll pray that you find God's peace and favor in all this, and that the enemy would be rebuked off of your family's life.

People make choices, prayer helps ourselves, try to pray also, even if you aren't sure what to pray, keep it simple. If you want to chat, message me.

[–] 2 pts

I think you may have meant this reply to go to the OP. My troubles with this kind of shit testing are long behind me but OP is the one currently in need.

@Apollonious

[–] 2 pts

I would smile and nod and not say anything. She's trying to hurt him. Trying to get a reaction out of him. She's gnawing her own tongue for pain to know that she's alive.

[–] 1 pt

I'd tell her she is a fat ugly cow, and that she can get the fuck out of the house, with that attitude. Seriously, the damage done by not ending this kind of shit test won't ever be undone.

[–] 2 pts

This is actually solid advice

[–] 6 pts

Bro... Thats fucked. :( I got 4 kids. My wife and I never talk to each other that way.

[–] 5 pts

Ok that's seriously fucked up - makes me think she might have pregnancy induced psychosis (yes that's a real thing), and is probably going to have post partum depression.

[–] 4 pts

I would not react. But next day her shit gets packed up. You don't get to say that shit without consequence.

[–] 2 pts

Shut the fuck up this post reads like a faggot reddit tifu

[–] 1 pt

Start recording all interactions with her! She sounds like the type to flip this on you and claim abuse, so get a go-pro and keep it on you and recording 24/7!