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I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

(post is archived)

[–] 30 pts

Ok man, this is hard stuff. If it was just her hormones acting up she would be having moments where she realizes she's a cunt and would apologize. I think your girl is acting like that because she wants out. You should find an exit strategy too. Right now. Don't linger and weep. You'll have plenty of time later for that. Now you collect evidence of the abuse. You secure what you can financially. You open up to your family if you can. Think preservation. You gotta prep like a hurricane is coming. And it is coming. I'm sorry bro but your thing is broken. I don't know what caused it to be broken but I wouldn't be surprised if she had an affair going on or at least some more promising guy in the back of her cell phone. Take care and don't forget that the baby isn't even born yet and she gives you this shit. Imagine how hard it's going to be when it's born. She will destroy you with that. Go away, leave, hire a lawyer now.

[–] 15 pts

Yes. you can't let your emotions into this right now. you need to be logical, methodical, and heartless. you are in a fight for your future happiness, and your childs future wellbeing. get as much audio/video evidence of her behavior. document everything. you are in a battle, and you need as much ammo as you can get for court. fight for full custody, may even get her declared an unfit parent. It sounds like a nasty tactic, but she's proving to be cruel and evil. you need to fight fire with fire.

[–] 6 pts

I really think you are right but I hate to admit it

[–] 6 pts

He’s right pregnancy hormones will make her mood swing not just to the shitty side .move her shit into her parents until she sorts her shit out. Fight for custody later if she doesn’t.

[–] 16 pts

I would make sure it was even mine first before trying to get custody.

[–] 3 pts

There has to be something obvious, what do you think it is?

[–] 3 pts

I honestly don’t know. Maybe shit-testing, maybe she’s scared about birth or moving. Who the hell knows. I sure haven’t done a damn thing to warrant any of it

[–] 2 pts

Please, for the love of God, have a DNA test. Be certain this child is yours, absolutely certain. You weren't married, so she's not entitled to any financial recompense, as far as I know. She's out of your life now, sure. But her acting this way could easily indicate that the child isn't yours, especially since you were planning to get married. I don't know if this will ease anything or not, but, if the kid does end up being yours (I don't think it is), think of it this way: even if you don't raise the kid, it's still your bloodline continuing and you'll still have a lineage. Just be sure to commit when the kid does come around and wants to know who their dad is.

Especially if she's somehow entitled to any kind of cut of your finances, whether it's alimony or something else, I really, really want you to get a paternity test. Ignore anything she says and demand, maybe via an attorney, that it's proven you're the father.