That wasn't really devil's advocate- you just backed me up. I'm sorry to hear that you spent your youth all fucked up. >If I was angry or sad, I could drink and rationalize myself out of the emotion. I do not believe that. You may have convinced yourself of this, but I want you to really try and think- after a terrible event, let's just say you had a bad break-up with a woman you loved: did drinking actually make you less angry and sad? When you were drunk, were you all relaxed/calm/stoic and happy? Or were you just fucking *stewing* in your poisoned mind over the break-up?