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5 slices of pepperoni pizza were apparently considered and assumed missing early Monday morning and an investigation was started.

Mayor Lightfoot denied eating the pizza but the Health Minister insisted she hadn't as she struggled to breathe and wiped marinara sauce from her mouth and quietly removed a pizza crust from the fold between her fupa and thunder thigh tucked unbeknownst to her in her XXXXXL pant suit.

While the argument continued 21 murders occurred at a local chicken shack.

5 slices of pepperoni pizza were apparently considered and assumed missing early Monday morning and an investigation was started. Mayor Lightfoot denied eating the pizza but the Health Minister insisted she hadn't as she struggled to breathe and wiped marinara sauce from her mouth and quietly removed a pizza crust from the fold between her fupa and thunder thigh tucked unbeknownst to her in her XXXXXL pant suit. While the argument continued 21 murders occurred at a local chicken shack.

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[–] • 1 pt

Looks like an ad for Moo and Oink.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

The absolute state of Chicago.

Or the midwest in general.