![How I often feel... [960x907 - 508KB]](https://pic8.co/sh/ghmRAk.png){kind=link}
PMs always ask how long it will take developers to do something they've never attempted, as if that is some kind of reasonable question. It's always some ridiculous, wishful thinking, bullshit project.
Every PM I've challenged on this is like "yeah but I need it for the spreadsheet". Oh I dunno, 5 hours, a year? Hey, how long would it take you to teach yourself to be a great plumber and please don't fuck with me. I need it for the spreadsheet.
Here's an idea, how about you quit and we'll get it done when we get it done. It will take as long as it takes, fucknuts. If I give you a realistic answer, you'll want it to be 2 months earlier.
Why did you even ask, then retard? Then you'll complain that it's "late". It's only "late" because of your datefagging and hectoring. lol
I know several PMs. I know very few competent PMs.
Standard boilerplate honestly, my own PM now asks me routinely to put an exact hour/minute to a task, as if its 900, my asignment or task has to be ready by 2:45. Not hours to complete, the fuck wants a time on the clock
I was once requested to design an online workflow process that could prevent users from lying. There were some fields that users would sometimes be dishonest in completing, and I was asked to make it so they couldn't enter dishonest answers. The worst part was not the request, but the indignation when I said, "You're asking me to design an online lie detector."
Oh, you seem to have delivered this within the time frame allotted by some miracle! Lets have everyone on the team look at the code and nitpick your grammar and personal syntax choices till your begin questioning your sanity, then you can make all those changes and re-test the entire thing because we can't be sending broken stuff to QA.
I'm saving this tirade. Will probably be useful soon
You aren't allowed to estimate that many arbitrarily abstracted time units on one task! We'll have to break this up into smaller more deliverable chunks. Then you can have fun juggling git branches and merging stuff back and forth until you shoot us all down like a disgruntled postal worker or develop a crippling adderall addiction.
So you tripled the estimate to account for our own 'red tape' and some minor coordination with the server team? ... Well yeah, now that I say that out loud it makes sense.
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