But they get free door-to-door brides. That frees up their goats for stew.

Yes, they do. While you can get an Afghan to do just about anything for money, they don't do a goddamm thing for free. In fact, some of the most furious infighting amongst the various factions was due to missing payroll. And during poppy harvesting season Taliban commanders had to beg their units not to go AWOL, because they could make twice as much per day harvesting opium as they did carrying an AK for the Haqqani. because of this, during the harvest, no fighting was going to get done because the local TB would lose over half their fighting strength.