Watch with your lady. She will be bored and you get lucky, or she gets it and you are lucky to have one like her.

Or, mayhap that you are an enormous faggot in which case never mind.

It's a bit warm in here don't you think?

Not to get all FPH but apart from Wall-E, there's not a single dystopian fictional future (or predictive programming pattern if you will) where people are as massively obese as they are commonly are now. Or are we just early and the fat die-off is still over the horizon?