That was a very interesting read. Thank you for taking the time. I have not had my IQ tested, but in the fourth grade I took the same kind of test that you did. I scored similarly. My teacher and the proctor for the test asked me to stay behind after the rest of the class left for recess, and they asked me a lot of questions, namely whether my parents had been having me tested. To add context, I grew up in a very small town where perhaps 1% of the population would appreciate the kind of thing they'd held me after class to discuss. The answer was that I had never been tested. My mom had only told me that I began speaking at a very, very young age and was able to conduct conversations with her by the time many children were still babbling in short, simple statements. Truth told, I don't imagine that my quantitative intelligence is immense. I did just fine in math courses, going up through calculus 3 without much issue. However, I never had the intuitive sense that I was mathematically gifted. Verbal is a different story. Anyway, I remember being authentically frightened by the way the teacher and the proctor had approached me - I imagine I felt as though I was being interrogated. I kept insisting that I just guessed, to which the lady from the test center kept reassuring me that the tests are designed to eliminate that possibility. She just kept saying that I was reading at what was likely a collegiate level at the age of 9, and asked whether my mother knew about it. I really didn't know what she was referring to in terms of the object to be known, and the entire concept seemed to elicit something like 'secrecy' in my young mind. The result was that I thought it all must be a bad thing. I remember feeling like I could have been in trouble (in the sense of being 'in trouble' with a parent). Anyway, I have never been tested. I doubt if I would score an outrageous IQ score. I do feel that I think slowly. Whether it is anxiety or just processing speed weighing in, I find I can think immensely fast in isolation, but in public I can often fall over my words if I am anxious to make a point. Sometimes I experience a frustrating effect where multiple strands of ideas just seem to congeal, cancel each other out, and I am left blank or with the sensation, 'Now you must start over.' I am rambling. I'll just note that I have experienced some of the typical symptoms of being gifted, or at least nominally superior as far as IQ is concerned strictly. Again, I'd wager my deficit in speed would be a detriment to my score. I do often feel trapped in my body and situation in the most general sense, like I am very different. I have had that feeling for my entire life. By high school I had discovered heuristics for 'making it' socially, and a little boost from puberty on my body size saw me get through with some success. But I almost always find that I have to conceal myself. It is immensely frustrating. I have almost trained myself to alter my language so that I don't use words that will make me seem condescending. I have to actively scan my language as I am speaking because I am insecure about it; it results in a feeling that I can never really talk with people about what I'd like to - about what actually interests me about things or situations. Instead I do this mechanistic sort of dance based on what I believe another person will expect to be said. The times where I do get a little passionate and 'lean into' something in my particular way, it seems like people's eyes glaze over. It seems my desire to be accepted has made that a very particular sign that is always very salient to me in conversations, one which I am always looking for as if maintaining the dance is very important. I don't know. I guess I just feel weird most of the time, so I try to seem as interested as possible in what most people are. Now I am truly ranting.