Half seriously, but with a sizeable mockery component. In my younger days I was obsessed with capellini/angel hair pasta, but it required precise timing and prompt plating to avoid having a big, stuck together mass. It performed slightly better with oily cream sauces, but Mrs. Duck and I gave up that particular study when we began collecting and feeding children. Somehow watching your own toddlers bathe in the unholy gruel that is Kraft Mac & Cheese sauce kind of dulled the luster of special pasta night. Today it's a simple red sauce on linguine with - arguably - some of the best Calabrian pepper salsicca sausage in the country: Fiama from Salume Beddu up in the city. A big can of whole imported San Marzano tomatoes, a half clove of shaved garlic and a small shallot minced and sauted together for 3 or 4 minutes, herbs to taste, a dash of salt and pepper and a splash of olive oil - all slowly cooked down for 3-4 hours. Cut the sausage into 2-1/2 in lengths, brown and drain and add to the sauce an hour before serving. I buy the linguine from an Italian grocer. Think it's imported, but markings aren't clear. Have attempted making pasta a time or two, but alas I have no Italian genes or relatives, so... There's a large Italian enclave in the city with lots of restaurants, a couple grocers and a gelataria. We occasionally go to Cunetto's House of Pasta there, and I usually hare their Pasta Tutto Mare - creamy-cheesy seafood sauce. Takes a week to burn off the cholesterol from that meal. Been looking for some ground veal to up my meatball game, but I don't think that shit is available any more here. Mrs. Duck bought some Italian alphabet pasta and circle pasta and makes homemade Spaghettios for our granddaughters. Spoiler: they prefer the canned shit. We laugh! So what's the sauce on your sauce - do cheesesteak niggers prefer red or white?