Wow. that one paragraph is rough.
Wow. that one paragraph is rough.
"The Eye of Argon, a fantasy novella written by a 16 year old in 1970, which became popular and beloved as the "worst fantasy novel ever." It found fame at conventions, through live readings and party games. In a 1984 interview, the author stated he was hurt by this, and vowed never to write again." The novella was written by Jim Theis, a St. Louis, Missouri, science fiction fan, at age 16. The work was first published in 1970 in OSFAN 10, the fanzine of the Ozark Science Fiction Association. Theis was "a malaprop genius, a McGonagall of prose with an eerie gift for choosing the wrong word and then misapplying it," according to David Langford in SFX. Many of Theis's words were also misspelled in the fanzine, which was poorly typed. Theis was not completely happy with the published version, and continued to work on the story. In an interview published in November 1970, he said:
"In fact, I have changed it. I went over it for an independent study for English in school. You know, like adjectives changed and places where sentences should be deleted; things of this type. Even so it is nothing to be proud of and yet it is. Because how many people have had their first story published at 16—even if it is in a fanzine or a clubzine? How many writers have written a complete story at so early at age? Even so, "Eye of Argon" isn't great. I basically don't know much about structure or composition."
The work was copied and distributed widely around science fiction fandom, often without Theis's name attached. Readings quickly became a common item on science fiction convention programmes. "People sit in a circle and take turns reading from photocopies of the story. The reader's turn is over when he begins to laugh uncontrollably.
Extract (read at your own peril)
Glancing upward, the alluring complexion noted the stalwart giant as he rapidly approached. A faint glimmer sparked from the pair of deep blue ovals of the amorous female as she motioned toward Grignr, enticing him to join her. The barbarian seated himself upon a stool at the wenches side, exposing his body, naked save for a loin cloth brandishing a long steel broad sword, an iron spiraled battle helmet, and a thick leather sandals, to her unobstructed view. "Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian",questioned the female? "Only if something worth offering is within my reach." Stated Grignr,as his hands crept to embrace the tempting female, who welcomed them with open willingness. "From where do you come barbarian, and by what are you called?" Gasped the complying wench, as Grignr smothered her lips with the blazing touch of his flaming mouth. The engrossed titan ignored the queries of the inquisitive female, pulling her towards him and crushing her sagging nipples to his yearning chest. Without struggle she gave in, winding her soft arms around the harshly bronzedhide of Grignr corded shoulder blades, as his calloused hands caressed her firm protruding busts. "You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing."
"The Eye of Argon, a fantasy novella written by a 16 year old in 1970, which became popular and beloved as the "worst fantasy novel ever." It found fame at conventions, through live readings and party games. In a 1984 interview, the author stated he was hurt by this, and vowed never to write again."
The novella was written by Jim Theis, a St. Louis, Missouri, science fiction fan, at age 16. The work was first published in 1970 in OSFAN 10, the fanzine of the Ozark Science Fiction Association. Theis was "a malaprop genius, a McGonagall of prose with an eerie gift for choosing the wrong word and then misapplying it," according to David Langford in SFX. Many of Theis's words were also misspelled in the fanzine, which was poorly typed. Theis was not completely happy with the published version, and continued to work on the story. In an interview published in November 1970, he said:
"In fact, I have changed it. I went over it for an independent study for English in school. You know, like adjectives changed and places where sentences should be deleted; things of this type. Even so it is nothing to be proud of and yet it is. Because how many people have had their first story published at 16—even if it is in a fanzine or a clubzine? How many writers have written a complete story at so early at age? Even so, "Eye of Argon" isn't great. I basically don't know much about structure or composition."
The work was copied and distributed widely around science fiction fandom, often without Theis's name attached. Readings quickly became a common item on science fiction convention programmes. "People sit in a circle and take turns reading from photocopies of the story. The reader's turn is over when he begins to laugh uncontrollably.
Extract (read at your own peril)
Glancing upward, the alluring complexion noted the stalwart giant as he rapidly approached. A faint glimmer sparked from the pair of deep blue ovals of the amorous female as she motioned toward Grignr, enticing him to join her. The barbarian seated himself upon a stool at the wenches side, exposing his body, naked save for a loin cloth brandishing a long steel broad sword, an iron spiraled battle helmet, and a thick leather sandals, to her unobstructed view. "Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian",questioned the female? "Only if something worth offering is within my reach." Stated Grignr,as his hands crept to embrace the tempting female, who welcomed them with open willingness. "From where do you come barbarian, and by what are you called?" Gasped the complying wench, as Grignr smothered her lips with the blazing touch of his flaming mouth. The engrossed titan ignored the queries of the inquisitive female, pulling her towards him and crushing her sagging nipples to his yearning chest. Without struggle she gave in, winding her soft arms around the harshly bronzedhide of Grignr corded shoulder blades, as his calloused hands caressed her firm protruding busts. "You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_Argon?wprov=sfla1
https://ansible.uk/misc/eyeargon.html
(post is archived)