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[–] • 2 pts

How do you look in the mirror, see that, and not blow your brains out?

[–] • 1 pt

I've never understood how people get that fat. At some point you think I need to stop this.

[–] • 2 pts

Gender is mayo. Wtf, bring back shaming and standards.

[–] • 2 pts

Bullets would get lodged in the fat. It's got it's own armor!

[–] • 2 pts

If the bullets managed to break the skin, gravy would pour out.

[–] • 1 pt

Next step in human evolution.

[–] • 0 pt

Mommy only lets him play with fake bullets

[–] • 1 pt

So this PD doesn't do standard fitness evaluation for its officers? There is no way that blimp could have passed the training unless they have a new division for employees who are genetically 50% ice cream.

[–] • 2 pts

You'd think some degree of fitness would be essential.

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Let's be serious here. What does this morbidly obese cop do? Just paperwork and constantly call for backup? That parade float cannot do shit.

[–] • 1 pt

To serve...themselves five or six pizzas...and to protect...the buffet so other people can't get any food.

Yeesh.

[–] • 1 pt

I bet he she it Pat would be good at lying on a subject to subdue them!

[–] • 1 pt

George floyd watch out!

[–] • 1 pt

Hey! Stop! (wheezing from raising its voice)

Ah well.

[–] • 1 pt

Luckily for her many cities disallow pursuing criminals.

[–] • 1 pt

They’re going to retire and become a truck driver

[–] • 1 pt

She sniffed the air as the 10 dollar mcdonalds coffee reverberated through her clogged veins... "Donuts, donuts could be here."