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845

(post is archived)

[–] • 5 pts

Fuck them. I was on a plane last week; paid extra so I could get some work done in comfort. The fatty next to me was spilling into my seat so much so that I couldn’t sit straight up…I was forced to lean uncomfortably to the side.

Ended up switching seats - once again stuck next to a fatty, but not nearly as large as the tubby who needed a wheelchair to get up the ramp after exiting the plane.

I hate these people. They’re a worthless drain on society, nothing more

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

You know that bitch has never cleaned her asshole, right? No self awareness or shame in the fucking people.

[–] • 1 pt

The only way I can picture this: rag on a stick.

[–] • 2 pts

If I said "I paid for an economy ticket so I demand to be upgraded to first class, otherwise you're a filthy bigot." I'd rightfully get laughed out of the airport. What makes this cunt any different?

[–] • 1 pt

They should put giant scales next to ticket counters, and only normal BMIs get boarding passes.

[–] • 2 pts

I believe there is a restaurant someplace, I can't remember where (it may have been Japan, but I might be mistaken) where depending on which gate you enter depends on how much you pay for a meal there. The wider the gate, the more you pay. I can imagine hamplanets attempting to fit through the smallest gate and getting abusive because they are 4x the width of it.

[–] • 1 pt

I would design special seats for land-whales at the rear of the aeroplane. There would be a specil -- oh so special -- concealed switch in the cockpit so that would be ejected downward with a spring action chute out of the aeroplane at 30,000 feet. Makes a new theme on "Fat berg" dropping from the sky.

[–] • 0 pt

A 600 pound hog would need a parachute 93 feet in diameter to have the hog land at about 7 mph descent rate. That's probably fast enough to break something

[–] • 1 pt

Parachutes? Not even one at all. Maybe a small drogue chute to make sure the land whale cleared the aeroplane. But I would rather see him/her/they/zer/zim tumbling through the air like a pinwheel made of lard-stuffed sausage tubes. I would pay good money to see the impact.