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[–] [deleted] • 5 pts

Prison food will be the best thing that has ever happened to her.

[–] • 1 pt

I don't know. She didn't get to that size by being picky with her food.

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

Prison is not an all you can eat buffet.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Her room mates might be on a involuntary hunger strike.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Actually, fatties do quite well in U.S. prison. So long as it's not a supermax 23-hour lockdown prison. a) End of every chow, they're stalking the skinny inmates as they finish up their meals. "You gonna eat that? Can I have your cake? Can I have your fruit cup?" They'll get really upset and start fights if anyone tosses any food in the trash can. I preferred to trade portions of my food for milk and juice with them. b) Commissary. They can load up on a mountain of junk food and gorge themselves while they have nothing better to do with their time.

[–] • 0 pt

True. Had not thought of the portion sizes.

[–] • 1 pt

Did he die of the smell or of the inevitable infection from not being able to clean down there?

[–] • 1 pt

He has the face of a man that just ate something nasty tasting.

[–] • 1 pt
[–] • 0 pt

Hog-botherer, Ham-o-sexual, Fat-shagger, Blimp-humper, Flab-jabber, Orca-porker.

[–] • 1 pt

When they arrived they couldn't find his head.

[–] • 1 pt

Plot twist - he had been missing for years, hidden in a roll of fat. His remains were discovered when a skeletal leg protruded as she crouched to lick some garlic-cheese sauce that had fallen on the floor.

[–] • 1 pt

Shit, I feel like killing myself now, just to get that out of my head.

[–] • 1 pt

onto her

[–] • 1 pt

That is probably accurate. I can't imagine he could find her snatch with the fupa in the way.

[–] • 3 pts

The wording and mental image makes me dry heave like a cat

[–] • 2 pts

Imagine how the dead guy from this story felt.