Running your own mail server is a PITA but the only way you can really be sure that you don't get fucked like this.
They'll still fuck you by blacklisting your server/IP and make you jump through all kinds of hoops just to try to get mail through. I gave up on it years ago and use email as limitedly as I can. It's just too much of a pain in the ass and they know it. That's why they make gmail and other email services the only option for the masses.
I agree, I have had to deal with that at a minimum DOZENS of times even though my IP's have been in good-standing.
At least today its really easy to get a new IP if you want. The downside is that IP's now hold a reputation in email black lists and it can take months if not years to "rehab" an IP if you get it after a scammer/spammer/etc got their hands on it. It makes it pretty hard to deliver email to google/microsoft/etc but you still can receive from those domains since they only do one-way-blocking 99% of the time.
My current IP(s) are in good standing and on a VPS, I would be able to re-use them if I want to while I am "warming up" IP's on a different VPS for a few domains as I switch them over.
As I said before. It is not for the non-technical if you want it to "just work" all of the time. You have to pay attention to it and make sure things are working properly.
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