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High-Tech Cars Are Killing the Auto Repair Shop (www.wired.com)

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It's to appeal to a vocal minority of retarded women who refuse to use their brains while driving.

Parking brake? Why not look around, note if you're on an incline, and then set the parking?

Computer controlled lights? If you're too drunk to notice it's dark out and turn them on, take a cab.

Anti-carjacker unlock buttons that only unlock the driver's side? Put a flipping Glock in your center console and tell carjackers to FAFO.

Automatic door locks? Great plan, now if you get in the car before your passengers the entire effing car is locked.

A literal crash idiot light on the dashboard? How. The. Fuck. Do not notice. You crashed into someone?

Proprietary cables, equipment, and software to program the car? For what sane reason is this not a USB interface and a flipping flat file to configure "hur durr shift up at X RPM"?

Dont even get me started on cars designed by AutoCAD monkeys who've never had to repair a car. Tell me more about why you thought replacing batteries THROUGH THE WHEEL WELL was a good plan.

The biggest one of them all: in car electronic weather reports. You see, the 360°, 3D weather report known as the MOTHER DUCKING WINDOW is apparently not enough to tell Bipsy that it's raining. No, Bipsy needs her dash to light up and chimes to go off to tell her that it's raining and roads may be wet. Or even better, "Roads may be icy". No shit. The roads may be icy in winter. Next you'll ding to tell me the sun is is out in July. I thought I just ran the AC because I enjoy the feeling of Elsa queefing on my face, not because it was 100° and my ass was getting swampier than Biden's rolodex.

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