I don't know about that. I'd feel like my tapeworms would object.
I don't know about that. I'd feel like my tapeworms would object.
I may have lost a necklace given to my Girlfriend by her Grandmother, a golden chain with three golden rings around it, one for each granddaughter she had...
I don't think I did, but I may have.
To preface this, my girlfriend has a lot of jewelry. Not super expensive shit, mostly just family stuff passed down through the generations, stuff that is pretty much worthless while also completely irreplaceable.
She intermingles the irreplaceable priceless family jewelry with random totally replaceable jewelry she buys from Target, flea markets, and yard sales.
And she is kinda sloppy about organizing it. She has a jewelry box, but she also keeps a lot of random jewelry in the bathroom, on the window sill, as that is where she gets ready for work, a bunch on her wardrobe, and she also randomly takes off jewelry and puts it on the side tables next to the couch when she is off work. So I'm not convinced it is truly lost, I think it may have been misplaced.
But maybe it wasn't.
She also kept some on top of her jewelry box, wrapped in paper towels.
Old Theo had to take a shit real bad, and Old Theo noticed there was no remaining toilet paper. So, wisely, before he took the shit, he unwrapped the jewelry from the paper towels and used the paper towels to wipe when he was done.
I'm damn near positive there was no jewelry left in the paper towel when I wiped. But I can't be 100%. We have a lot of cats that like to bat around shiny objects, so I'm about to tear apart our room to look for this jewelry, thinking that it may be under a bed.
My girlfriend doesn't know that I used those paper towels to wipe my ass. She assumes it was part of the room cleaning I did that day.
My question to you is, if I can't find the necklace, do I come clean and tell her it has been flushed? Or do I let her believe that it was me absentmindedly throwing away paper towels while cleaning the room?
I may have lost a necklace given to my Girlfriend by her Grandmother, a golden chain with three golden rings around it, one for each granddaughter she had...
I don't think I did, but I may have.
To preface this, my girlfriend has a lot of jewelry. Not super expensive shit, mostly just family stuff passed down through the generations, stuff that is pretty much worthless while also completely irreplaceable.
She intermingles the irreplaceable priceless family jewelry with random totally replaceable jewelry she buys from Target, flea markets, and yard sales.
And she is kinda sloppy about organizing it. She has a jewelry box, but she also keeps a lot of random jewelry in the bathroom, on the window sill, as that is where she gets ready for work, a bunch on her wardrobe, and she also randomly takes off jewelry and puts it on the side tables next to the couch when she is off work. So I'm not convinced it is truly lost, I think it may have been misplaced.
But maybe it wasn't.
She also kept some on top of her jewelry box, wrapped in paper towels.
Old Theo had to take a shit real bad, and Old Theo noticed there was no remaining toilet paper. So, wisely, before he took the shit, he unwrapped the jewelry from the paper towels and used the paper towels to wipe when he was done.
I'm damn near positive there was no jewelry left in the paper towel when I wiped. But I can't be 100%. We have a lot of cats that like to bat around shiny objects, so I'm about to tear apart our room to look for this jewelry, thinking that it may be under a bed.
My girlfriend doesn't know that I used those paper towels to wipe my ass. She assumes it was part of the room cleaning I did that day.
My question to you is, if I can't find the necklace, do I come clean and tell her it has been flushed? Or do I let her believe that it was me absentmindedly throwing away paper towels while cleaning the room?
(post is archived)