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I may have lost a necklace given to my Girlfriend by her Grandmother, a golden chain with three golden rings around it, one for each granddaughter she had...

I don't think I did, but I may have.

To preface this, my girlfriend has a lot of jewelry. Not super expensive shit, mostly just family stuff passed down through the generations, stuff that is pretty much worthless while also completely irreplaceable.

She intermingles the irreplaceable priceless family jewelry with random totally replaceable jewelry she buys from Target, flea markets, and yard sales.

And she is kinda sloppy about organizing it. She has a jewelry box, but she also keeps a lot of random jewelry in the bathroom, on the window sill, as that is where she gets ready for work, a bunch on her wardrobe, and she also randomly takes off jewelry and puts it on the side tables next to the couch when she is off work. So I'm not convinced it is truly lost, I think it may have been misplaced.

But maybe it wasn't.

She also kept some on top of her jewelry box, wrapped in paper towels.

Old Theo had to take a shit real bad, and Old Theo noticed there was no remaining toilet paper. So, wisely, before he took the shit, he unwrapped the jewelry from the paper towels and used the paper towels to wipe when he was done.

I'm damn near positive there was no jewelry left in the paper towel when I wiped. But I can't be 100%. We have a lot of cats that like to bat around shiny objects, so I'm about to tear apart our room to look for this jewelry, thinking that it may be under a bed.

My girlfriend doesn't know that I used those paper towels to wipe my ass. She assumes it was part of the room cleaning I did that day.

My question to you is, if I can't find the necklace, do I come clean and tell her it has been flushed? Or do I let her believe that it was me absentmindedly throwing away paper towels while cleaning the room?

I may have lost a necklace given to my Girlfriend by her Grandmother, a golden chain with three golden rings around it, one for each granddaughter she had... I don't think I did, but I may have. To preface this, my girlfriend has a lot of jewelry. Not super expensive shit, mostly just family stuff passed down through the generations, stuff that is pretty much worthless while also completely irreplaceable. She intermingles the irreplaceable priceless family jewelry with random totally replaceable jewelry she buys from Target, flea markets, and yard sales. And she is kinda sloppy about organizing it. She has a jewelry box, but she also keeps a lot of random jewelry in the bathroom, on the window sill, as that is where she gets ready for work, a bunch on her wardrobe, and she also randomly takes off jewelry and puts it on the side tables next to the couch when she is off work. So I'm not convinced it is truly lost, I think it may have been misplaced. But maybe it wasn't. She also kept some on top of her jewelry box, wrapped in paper towels. Old Theo had to take a shit real bad, and Old Theo noticed there was no remaining toilet paper. So, wisely, before he took the shit, he unwrapped the jewelry from the paper towels and used the paper towels to wipe when he was done. I'm damn near positive there was no jewelry left in the paper towel when I wiped. But I can't be 100%. We have a lot of cats that like to bat around shiny objects, so I'm about to tear apart our room to look for this jewelry, thinking that it may be under a bed. My girlfriend doesn't know that I used those paper towels to wipe my ass. She assumes it was part of the room cleaning I did that day. My question to you is, if I can't find the necklace, do I come clean and tell her it has been flushed? Or do I let her believe that it was me absentmindedly throwing away paper towels while cleaning the room?

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[–] • 1 pt

Good point. I guess dismantling a coat-hanger would be the best option for that?

A lot of flushes have happened in between, but gold is a pretty dense metal, and my shits are mostly liquid, so that might work.

[–] [deleted] • 6 pts

Bro you gotta smack that S bend open with a hammer. No time to wait. Gotta fix this fast oh fuck oh fuckohfuck ufco oh fuck

[–] • 2 pts

I thought it was a U-trap, not an S-bend?

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

fuck nigga i don't know! just start smashing that shit anything or pipe that looks at all bendy in the bathroom that shit needs to get opened up YESTERDAY

[–] • 2 pts

I just had to auger out a mighty clog in our second bathroom, it was nightmarish. The thing snagged on something and just would not come out. With help from the missus, I got it out and found the clog. It was our missing garden clippers!! Flushes great now!

But I digress... it seemed like a crazy-straw shaped bend. Smashing it with a hammer seems like the most sensible and scientific approach!

[–] • 2 pts

Make it a Hook and start fishing, honestly it seems more likely it didn’t get flushed. Would you really be able to flush that and not notice?

[–] • 3 pts

I used to notice gold chains up my ass, it was the only thing that got me off. But, then, my sensitivity waned, and I had to switch to platinum chains, studded with diamonds.

So no, I would've not noticed a golden chain against my ass.

[–] • 2 pts

It sounds like it's time to upgrade to large black cocks!

But that's just like my Calififornian opinion, man.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

and my shits are mostly liquid

You might want to get checked for gut parasites.

[–] • 1 pt

I don't know about that. I'd feel like my tapeworms would object.